I want to thank you all for your comments, prayers, and thoughts. Actually, they have been very comforting and it's nice to know people out there, such as yourself, do care.
These past few days have been extremely hard.
The doctors have said maybe 3-6 weeks now so we plan on returning her home next week sometime with hospice care. Make her as comfortable as possible.
The hard part, as TLP can surely attest to, along with others of you, is seeing not who the person once was, but a shell. It's reality though, cold hard truth. And to this day, I thank God for every second she's lived these past 55 years.
I'm not being a "bad son" when I say I do wish for her suffering to end, peacefully. 7 years has her worn out and understandably so.
Mom had a seizure yesterday caused by brain swelling. It seems the shunt they put in back in Feb. isn't fully working. The worst of the news is that the back of her head can't take any more surgeries. None. It's not even an option. We're going to treat it with steroids and maybe some radiation and a whole lot of prayers from everyone and see if that works.
For now, she isn't speaking coherently and she's unable to move her left side at all.
I wasn't going to write about her today...actually, I wasn't even going to say a word.
7 years of battling this shit, 7 years of her having her ups and down days physically is enough. She's finally tumor free and this happens. Makes a person question a lot of stuff, know what I mean?
But as my Mom's husband says.. "Mike, there's two things no one will ever be able to take from a man, hope and faith"
Before I get started, I want all of you to know that I am a man of compassion, a sensitive man, and because of that Axe yesterday, I still smell pretty damn good.
What is it about that stuff anyway? Nothing has ever made me walk around trying to place my nose close enough to my chest just to get a faint whiff of the manly smellin' Axe. I look like an idiot but at least I smell like a man.
Ok,ok..on to today's topic.
Actually, I wrote it last week while in one of my deep philosophical moods. Yeah, I get like that sometimes, I know...I'm a bitch. Feel free to use this post in the future. Print it out, tape it to the TV, and make sure to read it again to keep your perspective when the time arises.
"Passion. It's what drives us all. You can't have motivation without being passionate about something.
And trust me, everyone is passionate about something or another. Everyone.
Some people are passionate about being a success and amassing valuable material possessions to prove their worth....
People are passionate about their romances, fashion, cars, saving the bullheaded moose, and everything else you can name....
Everything is either made, played, or mastered with ...yes, you guessed it, passion. So ultimately, how can passion be a bad thing really?
Therefore woman, lay off my XBox."
Thought provoking huh? And you guys thought I was just some southern redneck.
A picture day is planned for tomorrow ....and no, not one of my ol' mug.
You all be safe and clean out your underwear drawer...I did.
I've grown tired and weary of being all manly macho. I worked hard at it all weekend long and today I'd just like to crawl in a tub filled with cherry blossom scented bubbles, don Trisha's silky red robe, and curl up in bed with an Oprah's Club book.
But I won't. I will stand firm in my belief that no man shall ever read one of her "club" books. They're for sissies. Although you'd probably like to see me curled up in bed, gorging myself with Bon Bons and reading an Oprah book, I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I'd be like "Mike, you sissy ass....get up out of that bed and go chop some wood."
I don't own an axe.
But I could still chop wood. Damn straight I could. Just using my bare hands, a paper towel, and a tube of Neosporin.
Lazy people can do anything they put their mind to if they'd apply themselves. I just never feel the need to.
I'm tired. I'm going to go bathe with a loofah thingie and a whole bottle of Axe, put on my SpongeBob boxers, and curl up in bed with Trixie and the rest of the Hustler girls. I will defeat these feminine urges one way or another.
A manly macho man's work is never done. Pray for me.