7 Years Ago....
Saturday morning and I'm up at 7:15....what the ?
Before I even start today's post, I'm warning you...the first person that says "Oh but Mike, that's natural" will be banned from this here site, even though it is natural but so is maggots in a dead elk's carcass feeding on the rotting meat but that doesn't make it any less disgusting does it?
Feb. 25th, seven years ago....
I'm standing in front of my ex wife, who's legs are open wide enough to drive a Mack truck through, I view the top of my little girl's head.
"Mr. H----, do you see that?" says the nurse
"Yeah, I see it" I say, while I'm feeling flush in the face and the room is starting to spin.
They finally dig my daughter out and just when I least expect it, all this other gunk...water, tissue, blood, and a bunch of other shit comes flying out the trap door. And the smell, Oh Lord the smell....I'm gagging thinking about it here.
Alas, with the stench permeatting every corner of the room, I stand there and smile at one of the most precious gifts I've ever recieved.
My daughter, 7 years old today.
Happy Birthday sweetie.
Before I even start today's post, I'm warning you...the first person that says "Oh but Mike, that's natural" will be banned from this here site, even though it is natural but so is maggots in a dead elk's carcass feeding on the rotting meat but that doesn't make it any less disgusting does it?
Feb. 25th, seven years ago....
I'm standing in front of my ex wife, who's legs are open wide enough to drive a Mack truck through, I view the top of my little girl's head.
"Mr. H----, do you see that?" says the nurse
"Yeah, I see it" I say, while I'm feeling flush in the face and the room is starting to spin.
They finally dig my daughter out and just when I least expect it, all this other gunk...water, tissue, blood, and a bunch of other shit comes flying out the trap door. And the smell, Oh Lord the smell....I'm gagging thinking about it here.
Alas, with the stench permeatting every corner of the room, I stand there and smile at one of the most precious gifts I've ever recieved.
My daughter, 7 years old today.
Happy Birthday sweetie.
26 Comments:
And she is a cutie too! Happy birthday to Mike's daughter!
(I don't know what is suppose to be natural or not -- the birthing process?)
It's also natural to eat your food while it's still wriggling and to walk around naked but I don't do those, either. At least not in public, and I'll leave it to your imagination as to which of those things I'm talking about.
She's beautiful, Mike. Congratulations.
Mike, she is beautiful! Congratulations! Cherish all the time you have with her when she is young. I don't know what I would do about my "special birthday time with my dad" (not like that you sick-o's)...
I have to agree with you about the stench and the strangeness of the whole childbirth thing. I myself, have never given birth, but have helped deliver a couple of babies in my time. It is the strangest, painful looking, process I've ever seen. And with all the stench as you call it, it's funny after they clean them up a bit how good they smell. It's almost as the skin takes a huge breath of its own for the first time and smells wonderful. Ok, I'm a dork, but who cares.
I am just apprehensive about a million and 5 people looking at this creature comming out of my Va-J-J...just strange.
Lots of love to your family and I hope you have a great birthday with your beautiful girl!!
God bless her! Isn't she beautiful?!
I don't recall the stench. I have only been present (while not birthing my own--which as you must know is hard to remember anything but the actual baby) for my granddaughter's birth and I have to tell you, it was the most beautiful thing ever. Of course, I cried more than the baby did.
I LMAO at the "they finally dig my daughter out" comment. Written like you had given birth yourself.
Happy birthday to your little cutie!
What a beautiful post, in your usual humorous tone! I even cried. (I'm too emotional, I know). I just remembered birthing my two kids, one 6 years ago and the other soon to be 2 years ago. It is so powerful that you can barely put it into words. My hub was right there with you on the feelings! Happy Birthday little miracle!
Aww, that was sweet.
Happy 7th birthday to your precious little girl! :-)
What a cutie!
Cherish every moment...the years go by too fast!
I was with my daughter when she gave birth to my grand daughter. It was the first time I ever saw a baby being born. (I was 'knocked out' when mine were born).
It was awesome!
Awe....that was sweet. Of course, it was only sweet after I got done laughing my ass off at the trap door comment.
PS - my word verification was ubygn which of course made me think of OBGYN...ha!
Aw, that's ... precious?
:D
EEEWWWWW! But your daughter is precious and cute. Hope she had a wonderful birthday!
I'm gonna be sick.
AWWWWWW what a cutie!
She is VERY cute. And you are sure she's yours? :)
Ditto what Mr. fab said...Happy birthday to the cutie pie there.
I don't remember a smell. I had four kids and had no pain killers (don't know for sure how to spell analgesia) for the last two, so I was completely awake. I don't think there was a bad smell...
One thing is for sure: there is only one correct way to get onto the earth, and that is to be born of a woman. So, get over it.
Birthday Wishes to the lil Miss. Your a lucky guy to have such a beautiful little girl:)
Awwe. It's a rough path to the outside world, that's for sure.
The question is, did you have the presence of mind to take a photo of the afterbirth like my husband did?
Happy (belated) birthday to your little girl. What a blessing!
No one said the miracle of birth had to be squeaky clean!
My husband near passed out at the ultrasound. He'd definitely be on the floor seeing what you saw.
Happy Bday mini mindless dribbler.
Hahaha, when I gave birth to Ian, they asked if I wanted a mirror so I could see....HELL NO! lmao
Happy b-day to your sweet daughter.
Smell? SMELL?! Dear god. Yet another reason I don't want to go through all of that. Blech.
You're going to have to keep a big baseball bat next to the door to keep the boys away in a few years.
Happy birthday girl I don't know!
She's is a really cute little girl. Happy Birthday to her.
Happy "belated" birthday to her. :)
Sorry I missed it. She's very sweet. What lovely imagery you gave us too.
Thanks for that. NOT!
Happy Belated Birthday! She is such a beautiful little lady.
I don't remember a smell? hmmmm
Wow and here I never knew there was a disgusting stench that came with all that pain too.
Happy Belated Birthday! Ahh to be be 7 again!
Aww Mike, what a sweetheart you are! And Yes, ditto on the entire post. The smell is wretched! My husband turned 3 shades of green, honest to God. I never knew a person could actually turn a hue of avacado green. But its something he is so thankful that he experienced. All part of the miracle of life, we all entered the world the same exact way! LOL... Well, minus the C-cection babies I guess..But even those are pretty goopy.. ;) Happy Birthday to your little one, she's adorable!
I had birthed four babies and there was no smell. What smell? I am completely creeped out by that! You won't catch me saying that's natural because I'm thinking the opposite here.
PS Your little girl is absolutely beautiful!
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