Golfing is for Sissies....
My buddy keeps at me about going to play golf with him.
I've never stepped out on a golf course in my life. Besides, I've heard it's an expensive habit.
First off, I have to go buy some pastel colored golfing shirts, plaid pants, and some black and white golf shoes. I don't own any golf clubs either. He's "chunky" so he won't shoot hoops with me, he won't chase down an errant baseball either. So therefore, he ain't all manly macho and shit.
My questions are.....
Is a white golf glove manly macho...or the black one?
Do I spit, fix my crotch, and stare intimidatingly at my buddy while I sink the putt or do I practice humility when I win?
Is it proper, you know...with golfing people, to do the "Mike" dance when I score an eagle?
Do I save the last beer as a consolation prize for my buddy or do I pour it over my head while I raise my arms "Rocky" style and run around hollering and shit?
What?
I'm not a poor winner. Ya'll can kiss my ass.
Later.
I've never stepped out on a golf course in my life. Besides, I've heard it's an expensive habit.
First off, I have to go buy some pastel colored golfing shirts, plaid pants, and some black and white golf shoes. I don't own any golf clubs either. He's "chunky" so he won't shoot hoops with me, he won't chase down an errant baseball either. So therefore, he ain't all manly macho and shit.
My questions are.....
Is a white golf glove manly macho...or the black one?
Do I spit, fix my crotch, and stare intimidatingly at my buddy while I sink the putt or do I practice humility when I win?
Is it proper, you know...with golfing people, to do the "Mike" dance when I score an eagle?
Do I save the last beer as a consolation prize for my buddy or do I pour it over my head while I raise my arms "Rocky" style and run around hollering and shit?
What?
I'm not a poor winner. Ya'll can kiss my ass.
Later.
22 Comments:
Dunno...I refuse to wear plaid so I've never tried golf...
I don't think Tiger Woods wears plaid........ when in doubt, do what the Tiger does! :-)
Golfing is for sissies...don't do it, man! *grin* the "Mike" dance?? hahaha, how "manly macho" is that? *heh*
To answer your ?'s:
1. Just not pink or the kind with the "ring hole" for ladies
2. spit and fix your crotch...but don't stare—that's just not polite
3. Definitely do the "Mike" dance—be sure to video tape that as well
4. Why do you still have beer on the 18th hole? You should be out of beer and half tanked by the 15th.
I'm not much of a golfer either. I go...when I have to. For me, it's more of an activity for business purposes, to fit in and woo some stuffy old guy who I want to sign a contract.
It's too slow of a "sport" for me. Challenging - hell yeah, but I rather wait until I'm 80 and completely athletically useless on a basketball court and then I'll pick up the 9-iron.
Dude, the only golf worth playing is Hot Shots Golf FORE! on PS2. And I'd so kick your ass. Without a glove.
I think that doing your Mike dance when you sink a putt in your pink shirt with your white girlie glove will be totally macho....
go fer it.
oh and you better have your own cart, cause the first time you do that, your golfing partner is gonna leave you on the 3rd green....
k?
but how good are you....is this really stuff you have to think about... or should you be thinking about how you're not gonna act like a jerk when he spanks your ass on the first nine..... hmmmmmm
Golfing reminds me of the ex hubby, which reminds me of what my mom said... if I don't have anything nice to say I just should shut my mouth. So.... I'm signing off LOLOL
I'd agree about golf being for sissies, but Naive-no-more golfs and she'd kick my butt for sure.
I think golf should be played like hockey, with a live grenade. Now that'd jazz things up.
Golf is not a sport. There is no physical benefit to it; therefore it is an activity. As such, you should be drunk while doing it. This relieves you of all other decisions. Simple, yes?
I hate golf. It's a mindless boy's game. Some girls play it too, but they're just sucking up to the guys. It's a way to do biz deals in another place besides the men's bathroom. I recommend you wear a pink tutu.
...I'm not bitter...
Dude, golf isn't even worth researching, but I will let you in on what I know.
When your buddy is getting ready to make a home run with the little golf ball, make sure you clap and cheer loudly. Encourage him. Yell, "Come on, buddy! Make the basket!!"
I think golfers really like stuff like that.
Oh, and don't forget to yell "Touchdown!" if he gets the ball into the little basket.
Golf is actually a great game! It's frustrating as hell because what seems so easy is so difficult! (For me at least) I took lessons and am always trying to beat my own score. And yes, I even watch golf on TV! My husband and I don't dress dorky though! Matter of fact, I have the coolest Nike golfing shoes! :) Unfortunately, there's no more golf in my near future because of this massive growth I have going on up in front!
I don't think you'd have the opportunity to do the Mike dance. Golfing is hard. Lame. But hard.
Golfing.. or... how to ruin a nice stroll in the out of doors.
on the "Mike Dance" I think it is acceptable as long as there is no moon-walking with golf shoes on...it will tear up the greens.
You can pour the beer over your head and do the Rocky strut but be careful that you don't end up getting drug behind the cart on the way back to the clubhouse...
and I think you should get the nicker pants and plaid socks with tassles on them.....
My husband won't take me golfing with him. I think it's because it's one of his "men only" activities. "G"entleman "O"nly "L"adies "F"orbidden, right?
Mini golf--THAT'S what you should pursue. Much less expensive and deceptively challenging.
Trust me.
Have I ever lied to you before?
It all sounds reasonable to me. But I have only been on the golf course a few times myself.
You know you just don't want him to win, don't want him to rub it in your face that he can swing that club and toss your tiny balls, er, I mean the tiny golf ball, all over that course like it was nothing. haha.
Is golf different from putt-putt? ;)
You need to play golf with us! We have a rule that you have to drink a beer a hole. By the end of the game, we don't even get off the golf cart to hit the ball. It's kind of like polo by the 6th hole.
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