My Exercise.....
It saddens me to reveal this to you today. I need words of encouragement and photos of Nicole Kidman in fishnet stockings to fully recover from this bout of depression.
Trish and I visited with my Dad and his wife after sitting with Mom yesterday. "Hey, let's go play tennis" my Dad says. Trish, being a high school tennis player ages ago, got all excited. I was the only one not hyped up about it. Needless to say, I was forced into going.
I've played tennis like twice in my life. I understand the concept of it and I understand the scoring so it's not something I jumped into blindly. First set, my Dad and his wife score first...
"Love - 15" I say..
My Dad starts yelling "You always call the serving team's score first!"
I'm like whoa...am I 15 years old? You want a fight old man?? It went on and on like that for two solid hours. I ran more yesterday than I have in the last 10 years. Tennis is for crazy people. How can it be considered a sport when it's only played by insane runnin' people. Oh, I had a good time but I can have a good time watching the Matrix trilogy in my colored boxer briefs on the couch eating Whoppers and drankin' Dr. Pepper.
In the end, the 30 somethings got beat by the 50 somethings. That shit is sad. I've been depressed about it since yesterday afternoon. Not because I suck at tennis but because Trish and I got beat by two people who are retired.
"Son, you really need to consider quitting smoking"
Hey old man, kiss my ass. I love you and all, but there'll be a rematch and next time, dear old Dad, I ain't takin' it so easy on your old ass.
Anyway, tennis is for sissies and girls with little skirts. And pretty legs. And sweat runnin' into their cleavage. And long hair flowing.......
I'm still depressed, although I was working on getting out of it just then.
Ya'll folks be safe and don't leave your garbage out on the balcony for the neighborhood animals.
Later.
Trish and I visited with my Dad and his wife after sitting with Mom yesterday. "Hey, let's go play tennis" my Dad says. Trish, being a high school tennis player ages ago, got all excited. I was the only one not hyped up about it. Needless to say, I was forced into going.
I've played tennis like twice in my life. I understand the concept of it and I understand the scoring so it's not something I jumped into blindly. First set, my Dad and his wife score first...
"Love - 15" I say..
My Dad starts yelling "You always call the serving team's score first!"
I'm like whoa...am I 15 years old? You want a fight old man?? It went on and on like that for two solid hours. I ran more yesterday than I have in the last 10 years. Tennis is for crazy people. How can it be considered a sport when it's only played by insane runnin' people. Oh, I had a good time but I can have a good time watching the Matrix trilogy in my colored boxer briefs on the couch eating Whoppers and drankin' Dr. Pepper.
In the end, the 30 somethings got beat by the 50 somethings. That shit is sad. I've been depressed about it since yesterday afternoon. Not because I suck at tennis but because Trish and I got beat by two people who are retired.
"Son, you really need to consider quitting smoking"
Hey old man, kiss my ass. I love you and all, but there'll be a rematch and next time, dear old Dad, I ain't takin' it so easy on your old ass.
Anyway, tennis is for sissies and girls with little skirts. And pretty legs. And sweat runnin' into their cleavage. And long hair flowing.......
I'm still depressed, although I was working on getting out of it just then.
Ya'll folks be safe and don't leave your garbage out on the balcony for the neighborhood animals.
Later.
27 Comments:
Well, well, well. Look who gets to comment first. The girl with the most boring job EVER!
Myke got his ass kicked! Myke got his ass kicked! By his old man! HAHAHAHA!
Okay, I'm done.
(Forgive me Trish)
Man, I hate to see you depressed again. It just kills me. So this is the best pic I could find for you. I hope it pulls you out of your depression.
I've been wanting to see if perhaps Colton might like tennis. He's not big into "team" sports.
I hate tennis. I don't get it. It is boring and a waste of time. There are better things to do. I guess what I am saying is, I don't blame you at all. I would be depressed if someone made me play tennis only to kick my ass. There do you feel better now?
I've never played tennis, I've never tried tennis, I don't get the rules for tennis....and there aren't many hot guys that play tennis so I don't watch it.
Nuff said. ;)
Have a cigarette and some scotch and you will feel better.
Krystal- Playground teasing is so mean. I knew you had it in you. Anyway, I was just taking it easy on the old fart.
Shellie- lol..(forgive me Trish) Huh....hell, i liked it. Perked me right up anyway! My spirits I mean ;)
Shelli- Well, I feel just a little teeny bit better. That's not stroking my ego nearly enough.
Diana- Oh but there are some uh...females that play. That's reason enough to watch it, huh?
JCR- Can I substitute the scotch for Dr. pepper? I'm not rich enough to sip scotch and shit.
Well, I looked around for you, even though I would rather look for pictures of Vin Disel, and I think Nicole Kidman doesn't like fishnets. However, I had no problem finding a picture of her half-naked and totally naked. So maybe that will make you feel better. I don't mind going that extra mile for you, just this once. And only 'cause I am in a good mood.
You let your dad kick your ass? Really now. I like tennis, but I haven't played in a while. Don't like to watch it, but I don't like sports.
So are you calling Trish a sissy or a girl with a little skirt?
And the first Matrix is really the only one worth seeing over and over again.
Shame on you for pretending you could play in the first place.
Ok, I checked my links and totally naked doesn't seem to work, so here is the link:
http://www.iballer.com/divas/kidman/images/k8_jpg.jpg
Lynda- Dammit, I can't access the one of her totally naked. You folks know how to cheer a guy up anyway. My researcher, Lynda, back in action! :)
Kim- I know. I've said it before, I'm a shameless guy. I did actually run and try and shit. Not counting the one time I got frustrated and hit the damn ball over the fence and out of the courts :)
Lynda- My researcher is a tease? Awww man.....
What, that didn't cheer you up? I figured you could use your imagination a little bit. ;)
I am really good at hitting the balls out of the court and over the fence. The tennis balls, that is.
I haven't played tennis in ages. I always thought it was OK, but I prefered volleyball a lot better. Seemed to me that it required more skill for sports laymans like me.
Hey Mike, don't be too hard on yourself. The running in tennis is insane and you were probably hitting your shots right to them so they barely had to stretch to return and they were probably sailing their's all over the court.
Of course you didn't win. Who could?
I love tennis. I don't know how to score it. I just thought you ran around hitting a little ball and picturing the man who done did you wrong? That's not it?
My grandpa played on the semipro seniors circuit after he retired. I prefer to sit inside and drink.
He was an aberration in the family tree, anyway.
LMAO! Oh, sigh. Thanks for the laugh. :)
Luke- Ah man, it does require some skill. I thought it'd be pretty easy, playin' an old man and all...boy was I wrong.
Naive- Now see? That right there made me feel better. Thanks! :)
Keb- Nooo, that's an aluminum bat and a pine tree.
Tracy- Now we're talkin'. Sit inside and drink, yeah..I like that much better.
K- Glad you liked my story of degredation and humiliation. You're laughing with me, right?? :)
"Wow, we've got some unresolved issues with our father, I see..." she said, looking as wise as the owl in the Tootsie Pop commercial.
The best part of tennis is watching cute girls in short tennis skirts bouncing up and down. Hey, it's not that bad of a sport if you look at it that way.
Tennis with a parent? Ick!
I used to (be forced to) play tennis with my mother. Until I got taller than her and could hit back much harder than her.
Suddenly she was too busy to play.
Funny about that...
I hate people who retire in their 50's! Traitors, they are!
There, I feel better!
I bet you look cute in tennis shorts ;-)
The only time I can watch tennis is during the women's rounds at the US open in September. The hot conditions turn the whole thing into a wet T-shirt contest.
Mike you are sooo awesome and hot that you don't need to beat your dad at tennis. You have the women dropping at your feet without all that tennis crap.
(Is that better?)
I'm with you Mike. Never really got into Tennis. Now badmitton, that's a sport for me. :)
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