The New Me....
Ex wife's glamour photo
You know, being married to the exorcist for 13 years dulled my sense of fear. I broke those chains 2 years ago but I'm left now with a burning desire to read the Bible to every woman I meet in passing.
I'm going to turn over a new leaf, starting today, and spread words of wisdom and good cheer to those less fortunate. I can do that without appearing less macho, I promise I can...as long as I use the word "shit" in my spreading of cheers.
For instance...
If I see a woman stranded on side of the road, car smoking, and she's waiting for help...I'll just pull over and brighten her day. You know, spread goodwill.
"Hi lady, don't worry none, that raggedy piece of shit will be back to runnin' again in no time"
Then I'll drive off. Leave her to ponder my words of wisdom and come to light that yes, I'm right. Now wouldn't that make you feel better too?
Or....
A hooker over there on Marrietta Street. The next time one asks me to give her a ride, instead of saying "Hell no, don't touch my car you diseased ridden fleabag", I'll say something like...
"I can't dear lady, although I find your mustard stained see through top and those cracked leather pants very attracive, I'm faithful to my woman, but if i wasn't....."
Leave her with that happy thought.
Damn I'm in a good mood today. Hangin' out with my buddy today, you folks be safe and come on, let's all spread cheer and shit.
Later.
20 Comments:
You are to funny. That kinda favors Pyscho! I wonder if they are related??
Have a great one!
JIMMINY CRICKETS MIKE! You know that picture gives me nightmares!!! *shudder*
Glad to see you in a good mood today. I guess that means you had fun last night w/the kids. :-)
Go about spreading 'your' cheer, my good man.
Hope nobody takes it the wrong way!
You may get hit or cursed, but you just turn the other cheek and keep on being happy and shit!
Have a great day and don't piss off the ladies!
awe Mike, you're so deep today.
you always make me laugh! have a great day with your friend.
You nut!
Man, your ex-wife looks like my brother's ex-wife. I wonder if they are related?
I think your ideas for spreading cheer amongst the womenfolk are SWELL. You should also take pictures of them expressing their gratitude. That would be educational for those of us who are your loyal readers.
Thought I'd let you know that Naive and I said "and shit" a lot during our weekend together. It was almost like you were there.
Back to real life now. Damn.
Shame on you Mikey. That SCARED me.
You are such a classy guy. LOL.
Ah, I ain't all bad. Some people would be happy to hear my "words of wisdom". I do what I can folks, I just do what I can....
You didn't say shit to the hooker.
I can't dear lady, although I find your mustard stained see through top and those cracked leather pants very attracive, I'm faithful to my woman, but if i wasn't (and shit)....."
Well shit!
Funny shit! LOL...
LOL Wow you really know how to brighten someone's day. I say, stick to the blogging. :)
I broke those chains 2 years ago but I'm left now with a burning desire to read the Bible to every woman I meet in passing.
*LOL* I get the same urge with men.
You are brimming with so much positivity and love today....
Knock it off :)
LOL. They always use too much makeup with those glamour photos.
There's a lot of shit in your posts as of late...
Post a Comment
<< Home