Mindless Dribble

Quit Checkin'....

2006-03-24T10:07:00.000-05:00

This site is finished. No more updating, so....go on. Go away.

Adios.

Ok,ok...geeez. Try this link. Update ya shit. I wasn't lazy enough to do a new one so you don't be lazy enough to change e'rythang.

My new site

Thank You All....

2006-03-23T21:52:00.000-05:00

I want to thank you all for your comments, prayers, and thoughts. Actually, they have been very comforting and it's nice to know people out there, such as yourself, do care.

These past few days have been extremely hard.

The doctors have said maybe 3-6 weeks now so we plan on returning her home next week sometime with hospice care. Make her as comfortable as possible.

The hard part, as TLP can surely attest to, along with others of you, is seeing not who the person once was, but a shell. It's reality though, cold hard truth. And to this day, I thank God for every second she's lived these past 55 years.

I'm not being a "bad son" when I say I do wish for her suffering to end, peacefully. 7 years has her worn out and understandably so.

Ya'll be careful.....and again, thanks guys.

Later.

.....

2006-03-22T07:21:00.000-05:00

Mom had a seizure yesterday caused by brain swelling. It seems the shunt they put in back in Feb. isn't fully working. The worst of the news is that the back of her head can't take any more surgeries. None. It's not even an option. We're going to treat it with steroids and maybe some radiation and a whole lot of prayers from everyone and see if that works.

For now, she isn't speaking coherently and she's unable to move her left side at all.

I wasn't going to write about her today...actually, I wasn't even going to say a word.

7 years of battling this shit, 7 years of her having her ups and down days physically is enough. She's finally tumor free and this happens. Makes a person question a lot of stuff, know what I mean?

But as my Mom's husband says.. "Mike, there's two things no one will ever be able to take from a man, hope and faith"

Pretty much says it all.

Ya'll be careful out there today.

Later.

Think About It, Really....

2006-03-21T06:56:00.000-05:00

Before I get started, I want all of you to know that I am a man of compassion, a sensitive man, and because of that Axe yesterday, I still smell pretty damn good.

What is it about that stuff anyway? Nothing has ever made me walk around trying to place my nose close enough to my chest just to get a faint whiff of the manly smellin' Axe. I look like an idiot but at least I smell like a man.

Ok,ok..on to today's topic.

Actually, I wrote it last week while in one of my deep philosophical moods. Yeah, I get like that sometimes, I know...I'm a bitch. Feel free to use this post in the future. Print it out, tape it to the TV, and make sure to read it again to keep your perspective when the time arises.

"Passion. It's what drives us all. You can't have motivation without being passionate about something.

And trust me, everyone is passionate about something or another. Everyone.

Some people are passionate about being a success and amassing valuable material possessions to prove their worth....

People are passionate about their romances, fashion, cars, saving the bullheaded moose, and everything else you can name....

Everything is either made, played, or mastered with ...yes, you guessed it, passion. So ultimately, how can passion be a bad thing really?

Therefore woman, lay off my XBox."

Thought provoking huh? And you guys thought I was just some southern redneck.

A picture day is planned for tomorrow ....and no, not one of my ol' mug.

You all be safe and clean out your underwear drawer...I did.

Later.

I Will Not Give Up....

2006-03-20T08:20:00.000-05:00

I've grown tired and weary of being all manly macho. I worked hard at it all weekend long and today I'd just like to crawl in a tub filled with cherry blossom scented bubbles, don Trisha's silky red robe, and curl up in bed with an Oprah's Club book.

But I won't. I will stand firm in my belief that no man shall ever read one of her "club" books. They're for sissies. Although you'd probably like to see me curled up in bed, gorging myself with Bon Bons and reading an Oprah book, I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I'd be like "Mike, you sissy ass....get up out of that bed and go chop some wood."

I don't own an axe.

But I could still chop wood. Damn straight I could. Just using my bare hands, a paper towel, and a tube of Neosporin.

Lazy people can do anything they put their mind to if they'd apply themselves. I just never feel the need to.

I'm tired. I'm going to go bathe with a loofah thingie and a whole bottle of Axe, put on my SpongeBob boxers, and curl up in bed with Trixie and the rest of the Hustler girls. I will defeat these feminine urges one way or another.

A manly macho man's work is never done. Pray for me.

Later.

Be A Man....

2006-03-17T09:19:00.000-05:00

"Yes dear, that floral patterned shower curtain matches the toilet seat cover perfectly!"

Men have become obediant, sensitive, and caring. It's sickening. It's just painful to watch too. I'm not even close to being in the same group as them.

For crying outloud men, grow a backbone. Stand up for yourselves! Be a man dammit and don't let those big breasted sensous women have their way!

Oh yeah, by the way...just because I cooked dinner last night, helped unload the dishwasher twice, and helped fold a load of laundry doesn't mean shit. I'm still a man.

I even had control of the remote yesterday. She was at the mall but still.....

I need some sleep. I'll catch up on my surfing later, promise.

Later.

Golfing is for Sissies....

2006-03-16T09:58:00.000-05:00

My buddy keeps at me about going to play golf with him.

I've never stepped out on a golf course in my life. Besides, I've heard it's an expensive habit.

First off, I have to go buy some pastel colored golfing shirts, plaid pants, and some black and white golf shoes. I don't own any golf clubs either. He's "chunky" so he won't shoot hoops with me, he won't chase down an errant baseball either. So therefore, he ain't all manly macho and shit.

My questions are.....

Is a white golf glove manly macho...or the black one?

Do I spit, fix my crotch, and stare intimidatingly at my buddy while I sink the putt or do I practice humility when I win?

Is it proper, you know...with golfing people, to do the "Mike" dance when I score an eagle?

Do I save the last beer as a consolation prize for my buddy or do I pour it over my head while I raise my arms "Rocky" style and run around hollering and shit?

What?

I'm not a poor winner. Ya'll can kiss my ass.

Later.

A Great Day....

2006-03-14T21:11:00.000-05:00

Even though it's Tuesday night, let's pretend that it's Wednesday morning and this is a fresh post, ok? If you don't want to play nicely, I'll ban the shit out of you....again.

Guess what we did uh...yesterday (Tuesday)? I woke up this morning, emailed the ex-wife and asked if I could check my kids out of school, and went and sat with Mom. Who by the way is.... well, progressing physically. She has her "bad" days mentally, but after all the shit she's been through, who can blame her. She's still clear of cancer but now comes the healing process.

So anyway, after visiting with Mom I packed up Trish and her kids and we took off to my Dad's house. He and his wife grilled hotdogs and hamburgers and we all sat around and talked and had a good time.....then we headed out to the tennis courts and had our rematch.

And Trish and I got our asses beat again. What the..... I got "newer" legs on me and it's a little bitty ball and a big ol' racket and we still can't beat'em. I don't undertsand this game. It defies all reasonable logic. But, we will play again...and I will get my revenge.

Some day.

Justin, Jay, Courtney, and Micheala

Oh yeah...looking through some old photos tonight I ran across one that explains some things...

Feb. 27, 1971

Awww, wasn't I just adorable???

Later.

The Deleted Post....

2006-03-13T10:48:00.000-05:00

From a few of your comments, some of you are all worried about that deleted post. Well, I won't type it out again but in summary, all it revealed was that it's safe to say I'm not a lazy gay pickle-eating black Jew.

Oh yeah, I did ask if Jews can eat Kosher pickles or do they supposed to stay away from them? My researcher needs to tell me what in the hell "kosher" means anyway.

I am off until Wednesday night (to all you haters...kiss it) and I really need to get "Baby" back to perfect health. She's still limpin' a little.

Oh yeah...to the sick perverted woman who happened upon my site by Googling "men stare at my cleavage"......

Well, news for you hun. Women stare at mine all the time.

How you like them apples? Hey...you looked too? Get out of here!

Freakin' perverts.

Later.

A Lazy Sunday....

2006-03-12T09:00:00.000-05:00

We're all grown men out there on the railroad, so imagine my dismay when my conductor told me over the radio "Ok, GA-40 Mike, shove back one boxcar to a gentle coupling". He used the word "gentle". This dude is 6'2 and 300 lbs. I imagine he's heard "Please be gentle with me" so many times that the word is probably a mainstay in his vocabulary now but still....

Gentle? Damn....

Trish has decided to take her kids and my kids, that's 4 kids, to Six Flags by herself. She's either brave or just plain crazy. Her being hooked up with me proves her craziness, is that what you all are saying? Why am I not going? Well, I worked last night and have to go back in tonight. I'm not off on weekends like all you normal folk.

In reference to my fashion sense when it comes to womenfolk....here's a picture that explains where I get my general ideas....

Women are a sneaky bunch.

Have a nice Sunday and all...

Later.

The Old Me....

2006-03-08T08:17:00.000-05:00

I am no longer spreading goodwill and cheerful thoughts. People don't appreciate it or they're just too cynical to accept it for what it is. After repeated attempts to assure the guy in Taco Bell yesterday that I wasn't gay but that his biceps were extemely attractive, I walked away with an order of 2 hard Tacos, a Supreme Burrito, and a close encounter of getting my ass beat. People suck. Being a "half full" kinda guy isn't worth it.

So, I woke up today replacing the new leaf with the old one, no...not over my crotchal regions, I'm not Tarzan for crying outloud. I mean figuratively. I'm back to being...well, me.

Trish and I went shopping yesterday. I know, I don't believe it either. Anyway, she bought a purse and I helped pick it out. I got fashion sense and shit.

We get home and I'm watching TV, right? Anyway, I hear her say

"How does this look?"

I look over and she's walking around, fully clothed, with her purse hanging on her shoulder. I thought she'd be modelin' some lingerie or some thigh high stockings or some shit...but, no it was a purse.

What should I have said?

You folks enjoy your day, I need to get busy.

Later.

The New Me....

2006-03-07T08:26:00.000-05:00

Ex wife's glamour photo

You know, being married to the exorcist for 13 years dulled my sense of fear. I broke those chains 2 years ago but I'm left now with a burning desire to read the Bible to every woman I meet in passing.

I'm going to turn over a new leaf, starting today, and spread words of wisdom and good cheer to those less fortunate. I can do that without appearing less macho, I promise I can...as long as I use the word "shit" in my spreading of cheers.

For instance...

If I see a woman stranded on side of the road, car smoking, and she's waiting for help...I'll just pull over and brighten her day. You know, spread goodwill.

"Hi lady, don't worry none, that raggedy piece of shit will be back to runnin' again in no time"

Then I'll drive off. Leave her to ponder my words of wisdom and come to light that yes, I'm right. Now wouldn't that make you feel better too?

Or....

A hooker over there on Marrietta Street. The next time one asks me to give her a ride, instead of saying "Hell no, don't touch my car you diseased ridden fleabag", I'll say something like...

"I can't dear lady, although I find your mustard stained see through top and those cracked leather pants very attracive, I'm faithful to my woman, but if i wasn't....."

Leave her with that happy thought.

Damn I'm in a good mood today. Hangin' out with my buddy today, you folks be safe and come on, let's all spread cheer and shit.

Later.

Personal Shit....

2006-03-06T10:35:00.002-05:00

I'm off until Wed. night so don't be all jealous and hate me and shit.

People with attitudes suck, excluding me of course.

Would I still be macho and manly and stuff if I changed my template?

I had someone already whine about me not getting personal enough? Ya'll nosy ass people want to see all my skeletons in my closet?! Well, just for the "whiners"...here's 5 very personal things about me.

1. "cowboyzfan75" entered my table I created in Yahoo dominoes a couple of years ago and played a few games with me that night. Believe it or not, Trish and I are still together. Even after I constantly kicked her ass in that game. She used to "save" me in euchre though.

2. I shower sometimes with one of them loofa (however the hell you spell it) sponges and some manly body wash. I like feelin' sexy sometimes.

3. Uncle Sam could buy a nice used car with all the freakin' money I owe him in taxes. The bastard.

4. I refuse to let anyone use my hairbrush because other people's hair is disgusting. All wound around my brush that is.

5. Now, aren't you happy with all this dirt on me?

Ya'll be safe, I'm going to sleep a little before I start my off day. I get the kids this evening, pray for me.

Later.

My Prescription....

2006-03-04T08:23:00.000-05:00

The Doc told me that if I keep forcing myself to walk bowlegged to appear more macho that it could result in nerve damage to my unmentionable place.

He ordered me to stop trying to walk like that and constant rubbing of the affected area for 3 days to reduce the chance of the nerve damage to the uh...affected area.

That was 2 weeks ago, just don't tell Trish about the 3 day thing.

Hope you enjoy your Saturday. I'll be sleeping mine away. Yeah, rub it in smartasses. That's just what the Doc prescribed anyway.

Later.

It's Your Turn....

2006-03-03T09:51:00.000-05:00

You know, I'm not stupid. I know that most of my 3 million readers are female. I've tried to provide women with a male's point of view on certain matters so they can learn what to do and what not to do. I feel as if I've contributed enough. It's payback time. I'm the one that will get enlightened today, thanks to you folks.

Question #1:
Why can't you ladies drive at a normal and safe speed? I've seen females get a little ol' bitty 4 cylinder and turn it into a Indy car once they get out on the interstate. Is it the 4 inch heels you're wearing? Come on, do tell.....

Question #2:
Jewelry....why the freakin' obsession? You got 2 wrists, 2 ears, one neck, and 10 fingers....and 3 jewelry boxes. Bet half the shit in yours I could make with a hot glue gun, a few colored beads, and a damn safety pin.

Question #3:
6 pairs of shoes? Freakin' ridiculous. I own a pair of work boots, a pair of tennis shoes, and a pair of church/wedding/funeral shoes. Tennis shoes go with everything anyway.

Time to go to bed.

Later.

My Exercise.....

2006-03-02T08:10:00.000-05:00

It saddens me to reveal this to you today. I need words of encouragement and photos of Nicole Kidman in fishnet stockings to fully recover from this bout of depression.

Trish and I visited with my Dad and his wife after sitting with Mom yesterday. "Hey, let's go play tennis" my Dad says. Trish, being a high school tennis player ages ago, got all excited. I was the only one not hyped up about it. Needless to say, I was forced into going.

I've played tennis like twice in my life. I understand the concept of it and I understand the scoring so it's not something I jumped into blindly. First set, my Dad and his wife score first...

"Love - 15" I say..

My Dad starts yelling "You always call the serving team's score first!"

I'm like whoa...am I 15 years old? You want a fight old man?? It went on and on like that for two solid hours. I ran more yesterday than I have in the last 10 years. Tennis is for crazy people. How can it be considered a sport when it's only played by insane runnin' people. Oh, I had a good time but I can have a good time watching the Matrix trilogy in my colored boxer briefs on the couch eating Whoppers and drankin' Dr. Pepper.

In the end, the 30 somethings got beat by the 50 somethings. That shit is sad. I've been depressed about it since yesterday afternoon. Not because I suck at tennis but because Trish and I got beat by two people who are retired.

"Son, you really need to consider quitting smoking"

Hey old man, kiss my ass. I love you and all, but there'll be a rematch and next time, dear old Dad, I ain't takin' it so easy on your old ass.

Anyway, tennis is for sissies and girls with little skirts. And pretty legs. And sweat runnin' into their cleavage. And long hair flowing.......

I'm still depressed, although I was working on getting out of it just then.

Ya'll folks be safe and don't leave your garbage out on the balcony for the neighborhood animals.

Later.

You're Saved Today....

2006-03-01T08:49:00.000-05:00

Ya'll have been saved today. I can't post nasty and disgusting pictures. There goes my "planned" post dammit.

I had to wake up and come sit with Mom (who is at home now by the way) at 4:45 a.m. while my step dad had to work for a bit. I'm still here, hence the "no nasty and disgusting pictures" today.

Trish played "hooky" from work today and found all her thongs I've hidden around the apartment. For my amusement purposes only, not to wear the bastards. You people are sick. Talk about me being disgusting. Get outta here!

Long hair on males = sissies

Ya think?

He might as well get some breast implants and wear some lipstick and shit. "He" being general. My Mom agrees with everything I say but she's had like 4 pounds of medication so I can't take her opinion to heart.

For those of you who want to know, the latest MRI revealed n-o-t-h-i-n-g in her head that isn't supposed to be there (besides the shunt, of course) so now we're ready for the healing process.

Ok, I need to run and fix her some water and steal some drugs.

Look for me, I'll be on the corner of Fulton Industrial and Bolton Rd with a baggie full of Zocor, tryin' to get rich and shit.

Later.

That Sexy Feeling....

2006-02-28T09:10:00.000-05:00

You know, it's sometimes just the little things that help you to feel sexy. Confidence boosters from out of nowhere. Or maybe it's an appearance thing. Who knows? But while it lasts, it sure is nice isn't it?

New haircut that you like? Walk around Wal Mart and just imagine that everyone is staring at you harboring secret desires.

Wore your thongs today? Imagine all the men in your workplace wishing they could just glance without you noticing. Makes you feel all sexy and shit huh?

I bought me some new tennis shoes the other day, now when I go places, I think women with foot fetishes are wanting me.

I even showered and shaved today...was feeling all confident and manly and sexy as hell. Notice the "was". Logged on the internet before I go visit Mom and then I stumbled across this.....

I've realized I'm not close to being sexy.

But I did buy some more colored boxer briefs.

Later.

7 Years Ago....

2006-02-25T07:58:00.000-05:00

Saturday morning and I'm up at 7:15....what the ?

Before I even start today's post, I'm warning you...the first person that says "Oh but Mike, that's natural" will be banned from this here site, even though it is natural but so is maggots in a dead elk's carcass feeding on the rotting meat but that doesn't make it any less disgusting does it?

Feb. 25th, seven years ago....

I'm standing in front of my ex wife, who's legs are open wide enough to drive a Mack truck through, I view the top of my little girl's head.

"Mr. H----, do you see that?" says the nurse

"Yeah, I see it" I say, while I'm feeling flush in the face and the room is starting to spin.

They finally dig my daughter out and just when I least expect it, all this other gunk...water, tissue, blood, and a bunch of other shit comes flying out the trap door. And the smell, Oh Lord the smell....I'm gagging thinking about it here.

Alas, with the stench permeatting every corner of the room, I stand there and smile at one of the most precious gifts I've ever recieved.

My daughter, 7 years old today.

Happy Birthday sweetie.

Gender Aging....

2006-02-24T08:11:00.000-05:00

Yeah, them folks at IT2M reviewed my site. Let me tell ya, them some "bitchy" crybaby commenters over there but Merciless Minx is on my good list. :)

As far as my template....if you don't like the simplicity, go to a site with flash and shit cause I ain't doin' shit to this one. You want butterflies following your cursor around, go to a teenage girl's site. You want colorful sidebars and shit, check out every other person's blog. My site broken in Firefox? Change ya damn browser. I could care less. So there.

"That's the way I see it, I'm a simple man" - Charlie Daniels

Now, on to my topic of discussion today. My lady friends are gonna get mad and all but I feel it needs to be said. Maybe Berkely will pick it up and do some research. It'd be worthy.

In most cases, women age faster than men. Wait.....do I hear some of you snickering? Ya'll know it's true. You can't deny general appearance.

For example...walk down the ladies aisle (in a manly way of course) and look at all the damn tubes and bottles and shit. You'll see skin revitalizers, age beautifiers, wrinkle smoothers, horsemanure for your cellulite and all kinds of shit....what do men have? Moisturizer in their damn shaving creme? Yep....argue that fact! You can't!

But I still like you all, all 3 million of you and I'll have no hard feelings whatsoever if you want to curse me out but you have to agree with me. Period.

Mom's back in the hospital and had ANOTHER surgery yesterday. They put a "shunt" in. I'd explain it to you but I don't understand it myself. My sister does but she's a lot smarter than me.

Ya'll be safe and rub some shit on ya face.

Later.

Another thing: I know all of you people are smart and shit...so will someone please translate that comment from yesterday? The spanish one. I could do it but I'm too damn lazy.

True Colors....

2006-02-23T15:23:00.000-05:00

Ok, are my post headings hot pink? Maybe, hell...it don't matter really does it? I'm a man's man anyway. Macho and shit. I even got my haircut yesterday. So, I look like a male again.

I don't want to talk about colors and sissy stuff, I'd rather discuss my crankiness. My uh..."funk", if you will. I know where it's coming from but alas, I'm used to it now.

Well, at least I think I know where it's coming from.....

The colored boxer briefs you folks persuaded me to change to.

Oh? You say that's impossible? I beg to differ....

Ever since I switched to some damn colored boxer briefs, "Baby" has been giving me more trouble, I've been tired more often, I'm working twice as much, and I'm getting laid less.

Those are just a few reasons...there's plenty more. I'm glad I saved all my old whitey-tighties.

So, yes...in essence, I am blaming all my readers (all 3 million of you) for my irritable and cranky "funk".

In order to rectify this, you will need to send 1 dollar, a homemade pot of Chili, and a nude photo of Angelina Jolie. Without hairy armpits, I've looked at those too often as it is.

Mad love for you all....

Later.

Crankiness, Again....

2006-02-21T11:09:00.000-05:00

I had a post all wrote out and everything but guess what? I'm cranky again. Cranky cause I'm tired. I want to say some mean stuff. Like bad.

But I will refrain.

I'm just wore out...but I'm still a gentleman and shit.

I mean, come on...even Superman got tired sometimes. Hell, he went weak in the knees when someone got close to him with a glowing jewel for pete's sake. What kind of superhero is that? Seriously, the Incredible Hulk don't get weak in the knees for nuttin' except beautiful women and who can blame him for that? I mean, how often is a big, green, mean lookin' bastard going to get laid? No wonder he's so strong and shit.

How in the world did this post divert to freakin' superheroes? See how tired I am? Besides, I'm not sure the Hulkster is a superhero any damn way.

Any way you turn it, NEO from the Matrix can kick e'rebodies ass.

I'm going to bed. I might write about our return trip tomorrow. Might, might not. Who knows with me.

Pick your brain:
Who's your fave superhero? (and don't say no girly shit like Powerpuff Girls or I'll ban your IP address for life)

Later.

My Learning Experience....

2006-02-20T16:21:00.000-05:00

Thora asked if I ever read my comments...the answer is "YES". I want to reply to all of'em but I don't. No excuses. I'll try and do better, starting tomorrow. Or next week or sometimes. Promise.

Ok, I learned that just because it snows and roads get icy and shit that it doesn't stop people from doing whatever it is they got to do. It shuts Georgia down needless to say.

We got to Tulsa Oklahoma on Friday and when we woke up Saturday morning, this is what we saw....

Now look at that, wouldn't that shut down any southern town? Why hell yeah. I look at Trish and I say "What are we going to do now?"

"What do you mean? We're going bowling"

"For crying outloud, there's snow and shit on the roads. We can't go out there. I like bowling and all but I ain't walking there."

She looked at me with disgust...or maybe it was a burning desire? They're so close it's hard to tell.

Anyway, we still did everything we planned to do...even with snow and ice on the roads. A rather enjoyable trip...but man do I have a story to tell about the car trip (along with pictures) back. All 12 hours of it but it'll have to wait until Wednesday. See you then.

Trish and her daughter

Trisha's son and daughter

Picture This....

2006-02-16T12:27:00.000-05:00

I'm cranky today. Very cranky.

I want to write some mean stuff but I ain't goin' to.

Instead, I'll write about things that make me happy. If nothing else, hopefully it will put a smile on my face. I need that today and I'm home alone so I'll have to make my own self smile. Without referring to my crotchal regions mind you.

I'll write about....

Flowers and shit. A field of flowers, all different colors. Swaying lazily in the wind. 75 degrees outside and I want to lay in a field of different colored flowers in my boxer briefs. So pretty. Colors all around me. Crisp wheat straw looking grass underneath me. Making me itch and shit. The red flowers have thorns on them and the green flowers pollute the air with pollen and shit that I'm allergic to. I'm picturing bees every damn where. The stingin' kind....

This isn't working.

I'm supposed to be heading to Oklahoma tonight for the weekend, we'll see. Hope you folks have a nice one!

Be safe and work on giving me something to smile about.

Later.

My Rebuttal....

2006-02-15T10:00:00.000-05:00

I was possessed for a short period of time, plain and simple. End of discussion.

I have been "ordered" not to delete Trisha's post last night (see below) and not following some orders are hell on the libido so therefore, all I can do is state my side. See opening sentence again.

Not to worry, I'm back to being the manly, macho, mean spirited, highly opinionated guy that I've always been. Missed me??

I have to go sit with Mom today, who's progressing quite well, until my sister relieves me. Then I'll crawl into bed and lay garlic and shit all around me so possession doesn't come so easy next time. I'm already tired and sleepy....but I ain't vulnerable. Nowhere near vulnerable. Not even sexually. Sexually vulnerable I'm not. Nope.

Later.

A good guy after all........

2006-02-14T21:54:00.000-05:00

Yep, I've done it again........I busted into Mike's blog without him knowing. He didn't change the password so I figure it's all good, right??
I have to tell our Valentine's story......... in my own way before he clouds all of your heads with his "sweet and romantic ways" cough - cough
I haven't really seen much of him lately because he's been working nights; so it's only been a couple hours in the evenings - - which really sucks!

So anyway, before he goes to sleep today.......

Mike: "Call and wake me up when you leave work, I have to go get some stuff at the store."
hmmmmm........I guess waiting til the last minute is still better than nothing.

Being the sweet person I am ;) I send a few "mushy" text messages expressing my undying love for him, so he'll have them to wake up to. ok, maybe that was a little exagerated, but I did send some sweet messages.

5:30 PM - I rush out of the office, I guess so I can sit in Atlanta traffic for 1 1/2 hours. But none the less I was ready to get home and see my sweetie.

***ring***ring***ring...............ring***ring***riinnnnnggggg......

Mike: In his sleepy voice "hello?"
Me: "Hey baby, leaving work"
Mike: "ok"
Yep, that was pretty much the extent of the conversation.

6:30 PM - Still sitting on I-285 in Atlanta

***ring***ring***ring...............ring***ring***riinnnnnggggg......

Mike: In his sleepy voice "hello?"
Me: "Hey - just letting you know I'm still on 285"
Mike: no response
Me: "Ok, I'll let you go back to sleep" This is going to be a fun evening lol

7:00 PM - my phone rings

Me: "Hey"
Mike: "Where ya at?"
Me: "Walking down the stairs"
Mike: In a panicked voice "nu ugh, are you serious?"

At that time, I open the door to see my man standing there in his ........ well, very cute boxers ;)
The first 15 minutes that I'm home, Mike is talking about how bad he screwed up (meaning no card, candy, flowers, nothing.....nada.....zilch)
I tried to hide the disappointment, which I'm not very good at. It's not that I need to be showered with gifts, but a little something would have been nice. Is that bad?

Mike: "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to fall back asleep"
Me: "What do you want for dinner?" - - I guess I was showing a little bitterness, now that I think about it.
Mike: "C'mon, let me take you to dinner"
Me: "Are you kidding? I don't want to go wait in line for a table somewhere, the restaurants are going to be ridiculous tonight."

As I'm starting to cook dinner, Mike is running around grabbing his stuff; "I'll be right back, I need to go to the store real quick."

Me: "Don't worry about it now Michael"

Then, as I turned around, there he was standing with "the box" in his hand. No, it's not what some of you are thinking.........lol

It was an oblong box with the most beautiful gold and diamond bracelet in it. He definitely has stacked up some brownie points.
Baby - I'm "allowing" you to have one full evening of X-box, with no nagging. LOL

So to confirm to all of his"3 million readers", Michael does have a soft side (sometimes).

Thank you so much Michael for having me in your life. Thank you for the beautiful bracelet too.
Happy Valentine's day baby.

Trish

Mine's Bigger'n Yours.....

2006-02-14T10:45:00.000-05:00

Valentine's Day is a woman's "holiday". Let's not beat around the bush about it. Everybody knows it's true, some just won't say it.

At my workplace, well...in the transportation department, the ratio is about 200 males to 1 female. What's that? Like 99% male dominated? I ain't good with math but I think I'm right here. Anyway, I can see it in all the male's eyes....nervousness. Running around asking questions and shit. Trying to compare.

Example:
"Hey Mike, what'd you get your old lady for Valentine's Day?"

"I don't have an old lady you chauvinistic swine you, but I did get my girlfriend this nice...(not saying because Trish will read this today) so, what'd you get your ball and chain?"

It turns into a comparison game. Men compare mounted fish, mounted deer heads, cars, and sometimes their crotchal regions but this is the one time of year, we compare romantic gifts. It's sad and sickening but it happens nevertheless.

Good thing women compare everything too.

Don't lie.

Gotta run and read a few sites, shower, and shave then crawl into bed and dream about....stuff.

Happy Valentine's everyone...especially you babe ;) See you when you get home.

Later.

Be Sexy For Your Man....

2006-02-10T08:32:00.000-05:00

Look, I know women have a hard time deciding what to wear and stuff for their man when they're trying to be all sexy and shit so allow me to help, from a male's perspective that is.

Hopefully this post will be informative and enlightening and get you laid plenty of times so you won't be all mad and sexually frustrated when you come to my site. This, out of the goodness of my heart, is my Valentine's gift to you.

Let's start with shoes....

It don't really matter none. I don't have a foot fetish and I really don't know many men who do (like they'd tell me anyway). So, shoes matter none. Open toed shoes, closed toe shoes, steel toed shoes...makes no difference. Hell, you ain't even got to wear shoes actually. Wait, they won't serve you in Taco Bell without shoes...nevermind.

Ok, pants/bottoms, whatever you want to call them is next on the agenda....

see "tops/shirts"

Ok, now for the tops/shirts:

A sundress. Men love sundresses. Cold weather, warm weather, tornado weather...all types of weather is the right weather for sundresses. Especially pale yellow ones with printed flowers or some shit. But no hats, please. No freakin' hats.

But remember, dressing up will be in vain if the house isn't cleaned or the dinner not cooked. That's not sexy. At all.

Speaking of cleaning, french maid outfits are sexy too....I mean like very sexy.

Oh, and those Catholic school girl uniform outfits too...ooooo, yeah those

And nurse's uniforms....

Uh...I got to go do shit.

Later.

In My Defense....

2006-02-09T09:19:00.000-05:00

Thanks to all for the warm wishes for my Mom. The abscesses are gone and she's no longer "leaking" spinal fluid. She's recuperating quite nicely. Hopefully, we've taken care of this cancer stuff, as unforgiving as it is.

I watched "Family Feud" the other night. That is not an admission to being gay, although there is nothing wrong with it, I'm not. Ok? Grown men can watch any damn thing they want to, got it? I can even carry around that purple lighter if I so choose.

Sensitive men can do that shit.

And me? Well, you guys already know how sensitive and shit I am.

I'm writing a love poem all by myself for crying outloud....

Anyway, Feud being in the title suggests fighting and shit. So there.

I'm all pissed off now and refuse to finish the topic. Yeah, pissed. At you. All 3 million of you.

Make fun of this....my work in progress.

Happy Valentine's Day Trish
I like cherubs and I like fish

I wrote this poem all day long
in hopes you'll strip when we get home

Cook my dinner in the buff
while I watch TV until I've had enough

Run my bathwater and wash my back
Fetch my beer and my favorite snack

That's it so far, but I still have 5 more days to go.

I got shit to do.

Later.

Valentine Revisited....

2006-02-08T07:44:00.000-05:00

I don't understand why some men can't recognize "macho" when they see it. For example this dude that came up to me last night while I was changing plugs and plug wires in "Baby".

"Is that a 4 cylinder with 8 plugs?"

Dude, get lost. I've done banged up my knuckles and my hands are blacker than Bo Jackson's (from the grease and all) and this guy is asking me a stupid ass question. I had enough blood of my own on my hands, I don't need any of yours on'em too. Ppfftt...a 4 cylinder, please. Go away.

Finally, he did.

I appreciate all the ideas you all gave me for my Valentine's Day gift to Trish but I've been thinking (calm down, it aint bad) that if I give her something that I actually wrote and thought up all by myself it will be a lot more special. Correct me if I'm wrong, but ladies are suckers for that kind of stuff and will rip their clothes off after reading. I've started it already but I still have a ways to go before it's finished. I have 6 more days to complete it.

A poem...

Happy Valentine's Day Trish
I like cherubs and I like fish

I wrote this poem all day long
in hopes you'll strip when we get home

Now look at that shit. Almost perfection so far! Needs a little "tweaking" here and there but dang, pretty nice.

Don't be jealous cause your man ain't all sweet and shit like me.

Sorry I haven't visited your sites too often lately. Work and Mom being in the hospital has me running back and forth. I'll catch up soon, promise.

Be safe and stuff.

Later.

The Dreadful Day....

2006-02-07T07:19:00.000-05:00

This morning, after Trisha left for work, I logged onto the internet in hopes of finding the perfect Valentine's gift. You know what I mean guys, the one that says "I'm sorry for screwing up so many times but here's a gift on this special day that should make up for the past and future mistakes".

I mean the perfect one.

First one I came to....

Beautiful! This is just exquisite. Yes, I can say "exquisite" without sounding gay because I say it with my "manly deep authorative" voice. So, kiss off.

Anyway...this is a beautiful jewelry box/tin...whatever the hell you want to call it. It's perfect for Trish, it'll hold all the jewelry and diamond stuff that I ~~get her~~ will get her.

"Garland Jewelry Box $220.00 USD"

What the.....

I mean Trisha is most definitely worth it but....220 freakin' dollars? "Click next page Mike", yeah, sounds good to me.

The next few pages I surfed through were filled with teddy bears for 198 dollars, a ceramic shoe/slipper painted with hearts and balloons and shit for 169.00, and some kind of evil looking cherub holding a fake box of chocolates for 200. I think I wandered onto Donald Trump's section of Valentine gifts.

Valentine's Day isn't easy for males, you females should remember this and console your man with a wet sloppy kiss and a huge homecooked meal.

In the end, I believe I'm going to present this to my Valentine....

I mean think about it... it says....

"See what I will do for you? Not only will I give you the shirt off my back, but also the hair. I love you just that much."

Heading to Atlanta this morning, Mom's having surgery. Yes, again.

Later.

Crap and Shit....

2006-02-06T16:20:00.000-05:00

My work schedule is actually not a schedule at all. It's more like "Sit by your phone until we need you" schedule. Yeah, I'm back to being on call 24/7, fun time is over. Yay me.

Shit and crap. Although they pretty much are the same thing, one person can't deliver both. No referrences to bowel movements or fertilizers please. Today, shit and crap are a representation of spoken words that one doesn't mean.

One person says some shit they don't mean, the other person says some crap in reply to the shit, then it's on...shit, crap, shit, crap. Take a break.

Return from the break.

Some more shit, more crap, shit, crap, a mean look followed by some shit, a thrown shoe with some crap to back it up. You following me?

Yes, I've found arguing about pointless stuff is shitty and crappy, not to mention hell on the libido.

In other news, "Baby" is......

ON THE ROAD TO RECOVERY!!

Let's all stand in a circle, light candles while singing a sweet sweet love song, and fondle the person to your right.

Trish? Where ya at babe?

Later.

For Heaven's Sake....

2006-02-03T08:10:00.000-05:00

Mom's back in the hospital. Spinal meningitis.

Lord, can't you give this woman a freakin' break?? Geeeez.

I do have some good news. My bonus was deposited into my account last night. I'm going to throw one big ass party and all is invited.

George Jones and Merle Haggard cassettes. Taco Bell "party packs". Cases and cases of Dr. Pepper. Playing "Charades".

Man, can I throw a wild ass party or what??

Trish and I have been debating whether a man and woman can truly be just friends. Not a person of the opposite sex that you just say "Hi" to in passing or shoot the shit about something or another, but a true friend.

I say no, sex stuff always gets in the way...and her being female, says yes, there is such a thing as a platonic relationship. My theory on that is ..well, how does one really know? It takes two to have a platonic relationship. One may think it's totally platonic where the other one has brief thoughts every now and then about what it would be like to sleep with the other. I mean...sexual tension is inevitable. How many times did I say the word "platonic" in this post? Am I freakin' genius or am I just ignorant?

Alas, women are like that though...all sensitive and shit.

Careful with your comments and who's side you take....I know your IP address and I'll ban the shit out of you. If that's possible.

Have a good day and don't leave the tuna in the trash can overnight.

Later.

Added to edit:
Shelli asked "How do I get to the party?" Well...it'll be at Kim's house since she'll be gone all next week visiting her daughter graduating from boot camp. As soon as I recieve directions, I'll email them right along to ya'll.

Good Gracious....

2006-02-01T09:45:00.000-05:00

Wow, I asked for a few suggestions and it turned out to be a "bitch and moan" session about freakin' housework. I hope ya'll feel better. I still got nothin'. And NO Thora, I will not post pornographic material on this site.

Wait, I see one question I can enlighten you brilliant but selfish people on.....

AKH asked "Why do men fall asleep immediately after sex?"

It's simple. It's because we do all the work. We're tired afterwards.

Ok, let me use an example. You stick the nozzle of the gas thingy into your gas tank right? Well, your gas tank is all filled and happy and shit but did it do any work? Hell no. The nozzle did all the work and what do you do afterwards? You put the nozzle up and leave it the hell alone.

Am I right? Admit it. I'm almost always right.

Being macho includes having a cigarette dangling out of one's mouth. If I quit smoking, will I cease being macho? Ponder on that one for a while.

I'm off today. Quit drooling.

Later.

My Rest Day....

2006-01-31T09:56:00.000-05:00

Being macho all the time is physically taxing and mentally draining.

Keep the chest bowed out, try and walk bowlegged, look mean and intimidating. I tell you, us menfolk should get paid for this shit.

Therefore, no pay no work. I'm taking a rest day.

I'm letting you do the work today. Hell, I'll let you do the work for the rest of the week. My work that is, cause I'm lazy and shit.

Recommend a difference in genders you'd like to be enlightened upon. I've done plenty and right now, after an exhaustive night at work, my brain is fried.

So, it's on your shoulders.

Goodnight you brilliant people.

On Second Thought....

2006-01-30T10:43:00.000-05:00

After publishing today's post, I recieved a phone call....

"Michael, that is so wrong and very mean"

After further review, I agreed. So, being the man with a very small trace of a "gentlemanly gay side", I deleted it. Yeah, the ex can still kiss my ass. You guessed it, she was the main topic. By the way, the phone call wasn't from the ex, hopefully with blind luck and a family secret, she'll never find this blog.

Now I'm left without a topic for today.

I could post pictures of my recently purchased colored boxer briefs but I fear that'd be dragging this site to an all new low level so I will refrain from that. Besides, I don't have the time or the bum to pose all sexy and shit for you.

I will repost this picture of my newfound love....

The awesome, "do-it-all", versatile Treo phone.

I got to run and do some somethin'.

You folks be safe and all that other stuff.

Later.

Battered and Shattered....

2006-01-27T18:30:00.000-05:00

My apologies to Jen because I did have a post but my "gentlemanly gay side" surfaced and I deleted it, and her comment fell victim to the deletion.

Wait, I didn't say I was gay. Not at all. I just have a "feminine" side...wait, no I didn't mean it that way either. No matter how I word that, it's not gonna sound right so let's just move on, please.

You ladies have struck a nerve with me. Those simple questions were really a quiz in disguise. See, I've had this complex all day because of your comments, yes....yours. Well, except for Kim who didn't answer them, she just teased me with "have a great weekend"...yeah, right. I have to work.

The complex stems from the fact that white is my favorite color so it's only natural that I'd want to wear it everyday, right?

"Right Mike, you are absolutely correct."

Trish and I are going to Wal Mart tonight, reckon' I'll pick up some tiger striped man thongs. Maybe that will repair my bruised ego.

She's almost home so I need to go and hide the pornographic material, delete my browsing history, and fold 2 towels to make it look like I did somethin'. Who says us Georgia boys ain't smart?

Later.

Tomorrow's Today....

2006-01-26T23:26:00.000-05:00

I do and I do for ya'll and expect nothing in return. Until now.

I'm writing tomorrow's post tonight. See the time? Why you ask....

I've got to be at work at 7 in the freakin' mornin' and no, there's no internet connection on trains. Besides, it'd be too hard to pack my desktop. One day, I'm going to be rich and buy me one them there laptop computers like my ex wife has. Which I'm probably paying for any damn way.

Don't get me started on that subject.

Is it sloppy joes or manwiches?

Dinner or supper?

Cute butt or nice personality?

Colored underwear or whities on a man? (This is an important one)

Ford or Chevy?

Later.

Photo Critique....

2006-01-26T08:18:00.000-05:00

There's a subtle difference in the way genders view photos. I've noticed this recently, thanks to some of your sites. Yes, you.

Today, I will give my female readers insight into how males regard viewing photos. I do this in order to defend your husbands, boyfriends, or your butch friend. Mainly because I'm a nice guy but there's also the need to dispel popular belief that we males only look at certain things in a photo. It's so not true, as I will prove that today.

Photo 1:

Just look at the ~~jugs~~ brown ugly shirt on this woman. She'd look much better ~~naked~~ with a pink one or something. The tattoo is ~~so freakin' sexy~~ quite obvious.

Photo 2:

Disgusting I tell you! The ~~cleavage~~ bikini top is very very nice but I don't quite get the ~~dog collar~~ necklace thingy. In any case, ~~I'd do her~~ she looks sort of young to me, but that's only because I'm getting ~~more perverted~~ older I think.

Photo 3:

HOT!! Just freakin' H-O-T. Nothing else can be said.

Photo 4:

Very tastefully done ~~he ain't shit~~ and I admire his work ~~I'd kick his ass~~. His wardrobe is very conservative ~~he looks like a bitch~~.

Well, that's enough of a lesson today.

Be safe and cook your man something special since now you know, we look at the photos in whole, instead of little parts like most think we do.

Later.

Classified TOP SECRET....

2006-01-25T08:45:00.000-05:00

Not sure if the movie I made yesterday is working for you. Let me know and I'll put it elsewhere.

Added to edit: If the movie from yesterday still fails to work, after all my "tweaking" I did...click here

Now, on to today's post.....

Trish and I went to our favorite mexican restaurant last night and got subjected to torture due to the loudmouths at the next table. Annoyed the piss out of me.

"Want me to go and say somethin' to them?" I asked Trish

"Yeah sure and get your butt kicked"

What???

We haven't been together long enough for her to know every single thing about me yet, like the fact that I'm a third degree master of jijitsu and a hand to hand combat survivalist. I have engaged in fistfights with the weakest men in Pakistani brothels who'd still kick the crap out of our neighborly loudmouths. Nevermind what I was doing there in the first place.

She has yet to learn of my aggression subduing technique that I aquired in the jungles of Congo from a primal tribe of headhunters.

She's clueless as to my ability to put a wild boar down with just my "fear stare" alone, although I have used a milder version of this on her once.

She's also unaware of my "2 Finger Death Grip" that I've used to incapacitate countless victims near the Cambodian border.

I'm hoping she'll read this today while at work and start thinking about how she'll be coming home to a manly man. All excited and stuff. Hell, I might even wear my Tarzan shit.

Ah, the lies men tell just to get laid. I'm not admitting I'm lying though. That's not an admission no matter how you look at it.

Ya'll be careful and stuff. I need to go and hit large stones with my bare knuckles now.

Later.

Ok, This Past Weekend....

2006-01-24T15:51:00.000-05:00

Second post today? Hhmm....

I'm just plain out annoying. Like Krystal suggested, I've laid off the hard drugs.

Enjoy this anyway....

Thanks Diana for introducing me a new place to store my videos.

Later.

I'm A Born Leader.....

2006-01-24T11:25:00.000-05:00

I've been thinkin' , surprised huh?, about the responsibilities of being the leader of a fanatical cult group. It can't be that hard really. Just say some deep shit that no one understands and they'll think you're so profound that you must be some kind of supreme intellect.

"Your soul is not remorseful for past transgressions and must be cleansed with sustained treachery and guilty pleasures, please do not waiver in washing my feet with your tongue."

See what I mean? That's some deep made up shit. The only understandable part is "I want you to lick my feet". Hell, I don't even understand the rest of it. But it sounds good.

You take a few crackheads, some vulnerable people, and bored housewives and gather them up and say some shit like I just did while your shirt is unbuttoned to the navel and BINGO!, there's your first recruits.

Tell me that wouldn't work.

Be careful, I just may persuade you with my powers of persuasion soon. Start looking over your shoulder.

I've been nice to Trisha for a week now. The treatments must be working.

Ya'll be safe and stuff.

Later.

Odd Sunday....

2006-01-23T06:56:00.000-05:00

Yeah, I know today is Monday...but this post about yesterday. So there.

Trish and I went to the church I was born and raised in. Quite a few members there have seen me grow from a toddler to the perverted and twisted man that I am now. They'll sure tell you about it.

"I remember when you was knee high"

All in all, I enjoyed the services and the feeling that I was "back home".

See hea....I ain't always wearing overalls, 'specially to church.

After church, Trish and I visited Wal Mart. Two things I noticed.....

Bimbo??? Hhmmm.... anyone ever heard of this product name?

My first sighting of a pimp in the small town I live in. I was amazed. Wished I could've took a shot from the front so you could've seen his yellow shirt that went so well with his fabulous pink suit and his "bling bling" around his neck. Lord, help this man.

I'm not a fashion expert so I can't say much.

They say a star is born every second. Glad you could witness one.

Later.

Sports, Not a Sport....

2006-01-21T06:40:00.000-05:00

From now on, the first thing that you should write in your comments to my posts is "I'm sorry".

You all know why.

Paul, a long time friend called me up yesterday and asked if I'd like to play raquetball.

"What?"

"Raquetball, you want to?"

I hung up on him. Look, I'm athletic....I can play sports. I especially love softball but the way I see it, if you're not holding a bat or something made of leather, it ain't a damn sport.

Hockey, it ain't a sport. Ice skating is for women. Period.

I can see some of you twitching just to tell me differently but unless you show up at my door with Wayne Gretzky and threaten to kick my ass, I ain't changing my mind.

Hockey= women.

Bull Ridin' is man's sport. Look at all that leather you're hangin' onto.

So, bats and leather products....sports.

I'm going to be a picture taking fool today just cause Luke wants more on my blog. If that's okay with the rest of you.

Not that it really matters.

Check back tomorrow.

Later.

To Satisfy A Woman....

2006-01-20T03:08:00.000-05:00

Yeah, look at the time. I just completed 12 hours and now I'm off until Monday so I'm a little wired. Trish is fast asleep and the apartment is peaceful so I decided to post about something I pondered all day.....

What do women want?

It's an age old question that I'm about to tackle. I know you're saying "uh oh" but don't worry, I've done my research. I'm about to educate you and I'll ask for nothing in return. I'm southern and us southerners are "giving" people. Let this be a lesson for you.

What women want is love, appreciation, and time. They want to be held, romanced, and "courted". They want to hear how nice they look every once in awhile and how small their asses look in the jeans they wear.

They want their birthdays, anniversaries, and other special dates to be remembered without having to do the reminding.

In conclusion, it's actually not a lot to ask for....

As long as it's being asked of another female.

Perhaps that's why lesbian relationships last so much longer?

Just my thought.

I need to go to bed, obviously I've worked too hard and been up too long.

Night.

P.S. If you have a little time, drop by Aaron's Dogcaught site. Yes, it's a railroad info and picture site, and yes, after 12 hours I get so tired of trains but seriously, this guy takes awesome (I'm pretty sure even that word is an understatement) photos. Detailed to the "T"

I Admit.....

2006-01-19T07:41:00.000-05:00

Pauline told me to get the hell out of her kitchen. In those exact words.

I stood there, confused. She was giving me all the signs that she was wanting me, according to the old weathered Hustler magazine. Feeding me, bringing me lemonade while I was outside playing basketball with her son, one of my good friends.

Brandishing a potato peeler and a look of utter disgust, she spat out those words that led me to tuck my tail between my legs and haul ass.

That my friends, was my 2nd sexual experience. Without the dumbass details.

Pinto beans and mayonnaise, try it some time. That's my meal tip for the month.

Does anyone have Goody's headache powders where you live? Just curious.

Going in at 2:30 and working freakin' 12 hours. Pray for me.

Ya'll be safe and don't waste any toilet paper.

Later.

An Evening With Me....

2006-01-18T08:21:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I was off work. I grabbed the phone and called the ex.

"Can the kids spend the night?"

Knowing her new beau is off on Mondays and Tuesdays I knew she'd be more than happy to let them. And she did.

Just in time for the premier of "American Idol"...perfect. The kids and Trish love that show. I'm too old to be a contestant (they told me so at the trials) so I'm hesitant to watch it, although I did. Lot of people with nerve is all I have to say.

My son showing his catching ability.....zero.

Trish teaching my daughter some patty cake thing.

(Here's a picture of Mike lookin' all mean and shit)

Now that's scary. The kids and Trish were getting ready to recieve my wrath in this picture. See? What's age got to do with me not being able to be the next American Idol, aside from the fact that I can't carry a tune in a bucket??? Nothin' I say.

You all would vote for me, right?

Later.

Soft Side....

2006-01-17T08:53:00.000-05:00

Am I the only grown man that eats gummi worms? Man I love those things.

Mix them with powdered sugar and olive oil and it could be my all time favorite meal.

I'm learning you have to handle certain situations with passive actions, nice thoughts, and apologetic tones instead of "in your face" confrontations. Now that's what I call evolution. About time I grew up huh?

"Mike, it's not always about you" ...if I keep repeating that and get out of my spoiled habits, maybe, just maybe, I'd be damn near perfect.

Relationships, whether you're married or just together, is about spending quality time together. I'm learning this. It's quite a change from an old marriage where we just basically did our own seperate things to getting into a relationship where the other actually wants to spend time with you.

If I ain't already screwed up too bad, I'm going to find the change rewarding and nice.

This is about as "deep" as I get....enjoy the sensitive side, for it will disappear tomorrow.

I gots mad love for ya.

Later.

Oh, and Krystal? Send me a box of those cards? Quickly!

Seriously....

2006-01-16T09:55:00.000-05:00

First off, let me update you. Mom is not leaking. Looks like the docs did a fine job this time. She's still in the hospital but it's for observational purposes only so that's real good news. Thanks for your good thoughts.

Now...

I'm a damn good judge of character on first sight. Seriously.

When I see certain things or situations, I think my predictions are right on the money. Let me know if you agree or disagree. Either way, I ain't gonna get mad at you so long as you don't get mad at me.

A woman with 5 kids hanging onto her housecoat with a buggy full of steaks means she has a purse loaded with food stamps.
A grown man spending time with his XBox means he's a lovable guy and a kid at heart. Contrary to the "he's just shucking his responsibilities" theory.
A coworker bragging about all the women he gets means he's mostly a homebody and gets laid by himself. "I get more ass than a toilet seat" ....yeah, yeah whatever.
A woman at a night club acting all shy and hard to get means she's been on more laps than a napkin. Proceed with caution and the necessary protection.

That's just how I see things. You might be offended or you might nod your head in agreement, either way, I stand by my predictions.

You all be safe and hug your neighbor's kids today. Except you Shelli.

Later.

'Preciate That.....

2006-01-13T07:50:00.000-05:00

Well, thanks for your insights on getting "looked" at. I have learned not to "oogle" at women, not to be disgusting about it when I do look, and that when I do look, it'll only to be to make you feel good and boost your self-esteem. Cause I'm like that. A nice guy and all.

No time this mornin'....admitted Mom back in the hospital yesterday. Surgery this morning to find out why she's still leaking spinal fluid.

Doc says he's gonna use a graph for the back of her head....

Bondo it up and seal the leak. Keep your fingers crossed.

I'll update ya.

Later.

Momma Said Knock You Out....

2006-01-12T07:46:00.000-05:00

Ok, I have to tell you, the outfit Trisha wore last night was H-O-T.

Yeah, I mean HOT. Very. Like "Dayum" hot.

Anyway, our waiter kept glancing at her cleavage. No shit. Right in front of me. The little bastard. In a way, it sort of uh...made me happy. Does that make sense?

I'm like "yeah, go ahead and look buddy....but you see who she's with. Eat your heart out".

I'm not saying her cleavage was out there, I'm just saying...yeah there was some. Tastefully done though. Not trashy. Not the "jugs all in your face " cleavage type. It was more of a subtle "yeah I got some breasts" type cleavage, which is far more sexy. There's my tip for you ladies.

So, my question is.....(for the ladies) does it flatter you when your tastefully showing off shit and other menfolk, besides the one you're with, take quick glances?

I'm just askin' is all.

Ya'll have a safe day and be kind to your neighbor's kids.

Later.

A Stolen Idea....

2006-01-11T09:53:00.000-05:00

If they didn't make breath mints, I would have invented them. This is true.

I guess with the steady loss of hearing my other senses have been heightened. Especially my smelling. Absurdly so.

Belch in my face and after getting hit repeatedly, I'll tell you what you had for breakfast on July 8th, 1989. I'm serious. It's just that good.

It's also a curse.

Breath, not mine...but yours. All of you. It's not your fault though. It's mine.

Mine? Yes, mine. I'm such a sweet guy that I won't tell you. I'll let you walk around all day punishing people you converse with.

Cause I'm like that.

On another note, I have promised Trisha a "date" tonight. I'm all nervous for some reason. Like it's a first date or somethin'. Sweaty palms and stuff. Damn teenage traits.

Where we're going doesn't warrant all this nervousness and yet, I still am.

Wal Mart and Taco Bell has never had this effect on me until now. It must be the company I'll be keeping?

Wish Rico Suave good luck tonight.

Later.

I Ain't Got Time For Ya'll.....

2006-01-10T09:05:00.000-05:00

Am I here just to amuse you? Spreading all my dirty secrets and wishes for all to see. I'm feeling quite violated this morning. Why? I'm not sure. I'm not gay though, I do know that.

Therefore, I'm leaving the floor open to you. Want to know about me? You got one question. Not one question with 2 parts...no, one question. I'll answer all the questions truthfully and honestly.

Maybe.

In the meantime, I ain't got time to appease you. I got to go get a hearing test...maybe get a hearing aid. That way I can hear Trish whispering dirty and seductive stuff behind my back.

Yeah, I'm halfway deaf...so what? I work with train horns all freakin' day.

For your pleasure today...I recorded a conversation between a van driver and my conductor a while back with my cell phone. They were discussing smoking and another engineer named Ray on job GZ03. Warning: Uh...some profanity. Enjoy. Oh, and you won't hear my voice...but you can hear me laughing at least.

The Conversation

I got to go press left and right buttons.

Later.

Huh? I've been Tagged....

2006-01-09T10:38:00.000-05:00

I have.

And I'm going to do it, really I am. But today, I have a pressing issue and since it's against better judgement to post twice, I'll have to do it tomorrow, or the next day. Sometimes anyway. Surely before the year is out. Besides, I'm not that interesting. Perverted and twisted but not interesting, in the least.

With that out of the way, on to this pressing issue of mine.....

It's "Baby". She's limping around. Limping everywhere. It's painful to watch.

I'm having thoughts of (God help me for saying what I'm about to say) about getting rid of her. I wish I knew how to put music on this site because I have the perfect sad sad song that would go well.

Let's all show her encouragement. Maybe that's what she needs, besides a complete overhaul, 3:55 ratio rear end, and some new motor mounts.

Join me in my tribute....

I know you guys don't want to read about her....but I feel as if I owe her something. Besides an oil change.

Get well "Baby".....just don't dig into my checkbook too deep, please?

Later.

Sex For the First Time....

2006-01-06T16:31:00.000-05:00

My posts have been more sexual in nature than usual as of late. I apologize.

Therefore, no sexual content here today. Sorry, perverts.

Well.....nevermind. I'll appease you all, as usual.

A story for you. My first sexual experience.

11 years old.

My buddy got hold of a Hustler magazine somehow. We examined each and every page for about a week before I "made my moves" on his 15 year old sister.

With newfound confidence and a vast new knowledge of the most intimate parts of a woman's anatomy, I approached Theresa with a big smile on my face.

"What are you grinning about?" she asked.

At that moment, it was do or die. Sooo, I proceeded to try and touch everything I had seen in the magazine all week long. I mean, come on...there's no way I could fail, from what I seen on the women's faces, they loved to be touched anyway. I was bound and determined not to have to make Theresa do it herself, like all those other ladies in the magazine. I liked her just that much.

To make a long story short, to this day, when it rains, the scar on my forehead and my healed ribcage ache, bringing to surface the horrifying memories of hard pavement, ballerina shoes, and Theresa's father. In which order, I can't tell you.

It's all still so fuzzy.

You folks be safe and don't "drank" too much this weekend. Think of me while I'm working.

Later,
Rico Suave

Yet Another Lesson About Gender.....

2006-01-05T13:24:00.000-05:00

Help out with the housework?? Next thing you guys will tell me is that I should cook some too. Must be true...women really are from Venus.

Look, I was joking. I do help out around here a little. It ain't like I'm a complete slob. Just a partial one.

I stole this....and I've added my own two cents worth.

"[Ray] Men tend to be compartmentalized, like a chest of drawers: work in one drawer, relationships in another drawer, sports in a third drawer, and so on. All the various parts of our lives can be split off from each other."

Exactly. Those words are so freakin' true. It's all self-explanatory.

"[Sue] Whereas women are more like a ball of yarn where everything's connected to everything else. That's why a woman can't get romantic when there's some unresolved anger or frustration with her husband, and he doesn't see what the two things have to do with each other."

Damn. Bingo again! If your lady is mad, no sex. What has sex got to do with not taking out the trash? Two totally different things. They ain't got nothing to do with each other.....but somehow, no trash, no sex.

No clean dishes, no sex. Floor not vaccumed and the coffee table doesn't smell like furniture polish? No sex. Oops, forgot to change out the clothes in the wash? You just screwed up your night big boy....no sex for you.

Of course, Trish and I do not have this problem. I learned this lesson long ago.

That my friend, was "Mike's Healthy Relationship Tip #37", free of charge. Just cause you're cool and I'd like to see you get laid more than once a month, well...I mean not actually see it and all (unless you've made extra copies) but know that I've been of some help.

Be safe and keep both eyes on the road.

Later.

I'm sorry.....

2006-01-04T15:28:00.000-05:00

I apologize. I haven't been keeping up to date with my visits to your sites but trust me, work has been very demanding lately. Extremely demanding.

You know, the last few days I'm finding out that make-up sex isn't worth the whole process to have it.

"You don't do this, You don't do that"

Arguing is tiresome and senseless. So is hiking and I'm pretty good at avoiding that. Therefore, from this day forward, I'm changing my tactics. Instead of debating whether or not the laundry should be done by me or uh...you know, the floors swept and vacuumed by me or uh...you know, or the dishes need to be put away by me or uh...you know.....

Before all that even starts, or at least when I can sense the "argumentative tone" in uh..you knows voice, I'm just going to rip my shirt off and whisper immoral and perverted remarks.

Straight to the make-up sex without the hassle of racking my brain trying to think of good comebacks.

Think that'll work??

Please be aware of your surroundings at all times and never, ever wear a bikini top with snakeskin boots.

Later.

People Watching....

2006-01-02T20:22:00.000-05:00

I went to the mall today.

I sat on a bench while Trish was in that "smell good" bath store and watched people.

A million folks. Excited women, bored men, and giggling teenage girls. I saw it all. I watched them all. One by one.

A 50 year old man with a tshirt that said "Spank My Monkey". A 12 year old girl wearing a half shirt, low rider jeans, and her thong visible. What the.....my daughter would get her ass beat. Twice.

I saw a 350 pound woman eating a 4 pound cookie. Her kids diving for the crumbs. Her 150 pound husband following along like an obediant pet.

Two lesbian couples. I think. Unless ladies walk around the mall with their arms interlaced between another lady. Out of friendship. Who the hell knows? Anyway, I sort of liked that.

All that people watching today is only going to lead to T.V. watching now.

Georgia Bulldogs vs. West Virginia Mountaineers tonight! 8:30 p.m on ABC.

Wish my boys Good Luck in the Sugar Bowl.

Be safe and all that other stuff everybody.

Later.

Thanks A Lot....

2006-01-01T11:48:00.000-05:00

Well, lots of you gave me renewed hope in my "elderly" years. Just knowing sex only gets better is a reason to wake up smiling. Keeping up with someone in their "prime" is hard work, doesn't pay well, and physically draining but has a shitload of fringe benefits. This I know.

While Trish is away shopping for ingredients for her cheesecake and I've grown bored with my new XBox game, I figured I'd invest a little time in enlightening you, my dear readers.

Do you know what they say about guys with big feet?

I do.

A good New Year to you. Drink responsibly and share dammit.

Later.

Young Man....

2005-12-29T10:52:00.000-05:00

Trish made it home yesterday evening around the same time I got back in from work. I haven't stopped grinning yet. I'm tired now, flat out wore out but grinning nonetheless.

She brought me some Divinity her Mom made. I tell you folks, she's a keeper.

Tomorrow I turn 35.

I used to think 35 years is close to antiquity, but not now. Reasons being:

Sex is better.
Sex is better.
Sex is better.

I could go on and on and on but I'm figurin' you get the point.

Although I can't accept sex from you, my 3 million readers, I can accept XBox games, cash (no personal checks), and a few bikini breifs for men. You know, since I "all the sudden" feel the need to feel "sexy".

"You sexy sexy man you" .....My mantra for today. Beats thinking about getting older doesn't it?

Traveling out of town, yes...again. You folks be careful and stuff.

Later.

Stupid Sumbich....

2005-12-27T09:54:00.000-05:00

What gene carries the "selfish" trait?

Somebody tell me so I can flush the little bastards out. All of'em. Except maybe 2. Yeah, leave me 2.

Wait, what if there's only one gene to begin with? If that possibility is true, I'd have to cut out my chest, both arms, and my neck to get rid of it. It'd be huge. I'm showing my medical ignorance here.

When I asked, Deloris just looked at me with desire but she won't say squat. I'm this close to kicking her out of the apartment.

So, I'm asking you. Suggestions on being less "selfish" without cutting off useful appendages of course.

For those of you who have asked about Mom. She's still in the hospital. It's being discussed that she'll come home Thursday, let's hope so.

Traveling to Chattanooga today. Ya'll be safe and stuff.

Later.

A Dedication..... (LONG)

2005-12-25T00:03:00.000-05:00

In honor of my 100th post....I dedicate it to the wit, wisdom, and sarcasm of my commentors. I mean come on guys, you all already know how arrogant and conceited I am, along with an ego as big as Mike Tyson's in his "prime", but with a little more of a "manly" voice. Oh, and I'm not African American. (How's that for being politically correct?)

Nor am I jewish, hispanic, chinese, gay, or australian but I am lazy.

So, here's a little something special I have written for all of you, my dear readers...all 3 million of you. I love you all and hope you get everything you deserve this year from the big fat red-suit wearing guy. He's not African American, jewish, hispanic, chinese, or australian either. I'm pretty sure he isn't gay. Not that I want to find out.....unless he has an endless supply of XBox games.

Off track, sorry. Here's what I present to you on this special occasion.....

A poem. Spoken in third person because that's the only way my ego will allow it. It's very deep and a little philosophical......

"She placed her hands upon his thigh, he said..."

Wait, wrong one. Damn cut and paste. You'll know all of the contents in "My Writings" folder if I keep screwing up.....let's try it again

"Mike's friends on the eve of Christmas 2005
Include Spongebob on his boxers, on his lap a bag of chips

In black lacy thongs, Deloris sits in her chair
staring at him in admiration, one arm's lost it's air.

The cellphone sits on ready, right by his side
For Trish is going to call, only then will he confide.

That he's been a decent guy, all year long
And to tell her that she needs to hurry on home

He's starving, broke, and out of food
And 4 days without sex has him in a bad mood

But yet, this morning, when he gazes upon the smiles
of his children with Santa's loot, he'll be alright for a little while.

This poem is now too damn long and there's nothing left to write
So I'll leave you with a wish for a Merry Christmas and .......

Goodnight."

I know. Some dedication huh? Ah, kiss it. I'm bored. "And ignant".

Mmmm.....that is Fabulous isn't it?

Merry Christmas folks!!

Christmas Eve....

2005-12-24T07:54:00.000-05:00

I sit here, all alone today. Well, with Deloris but she doesn't say much. Although, she does look mighty inviting. If I keep staring at her, I'll have to take her out of the box.

Mom's back in the hospital, as of last night. That's the reason I'm back home from work. They rushed me back in a van and I stayed the night in the hospital sleeping in a chair that's not made to sleep in. My son is throwing up chunks of his liver or something, the ex said. Trisha is still in Texas and will remain so until the 28th.

So, Christmas Eve is all mine. Unfortunately.

With Deloris at my side, an unsurmountable amount of porn at my leisure, and my 20 oz. cup of Strawberry Hot Chocolate, I will enjoy the day. Even if I have to make everyone else miserable.

Wait, you actually think I'd do that? The porn I mean??

(Don't answer)

Later.

Look At The Time....

2005-12-23T03:59:00.000-05:00

That's right, it's like 4 A.M.

You'll have to forgive me, I've left my creative wit somewhere under the twisted covers of the bed I'm now staring at. My bed that is.

Between midnight and 4 a.m work has called 6 times, proving the 7th must be a lucky number for them because I've finally answered the phone. Keep in mind, today is my off day. I don't have to answer it. So, now I'm stuck going to Chattanooga on an empty coal train at 5:30 in the freakin' morning.

Here's to a Merry Christmas for everyone. A safe one too.

Later.

Women Rule the World....

2005-12-22T11:56:00.000-05:00

Yeah, right. Thought that'd grab your attention. I'm a big fat lie, something even TLP will attest to.

Going into Day 3 of my temporary bachelor's existance:

I have lost 3 pounds.
I've been having this reoccuring dream about Judge Judy and a Nissan Maxima, maybe one day I'll get into the details.
Just because I don't have to, I haven't raised the toilet seat up.
We won't get into my personal hygeine as of late for fear Sandy will curse me out too.
I'm out of clean socks.

As you can see, there are more Cons than Pros. But I'm managing, albeit struggling and sweating but managing nonetheless.

A few poker chips, a carton of smokes, and a case of Miller Genuine Draft, along with 3 or 4 of my best friends should balance the scales, right?

Later.

I've Found A Way....

2005-12-21T09:46:00.000-05:00

I'm not a coffee drinker. There, I said it. Happy now?

"Starsucks this and Starsucks that" is all I freakin' hear nowadays.

I'll admit something else....

I'm terribly jealous. I want to walk around like the rest of you with your styrofoam cups with the coffee lattee bullshit or the cappuccino or the french vanilla whatever it is inside, sipping like you own the world or something.

I've found my answer yesterday. Or the other day, I can't remember when exactly.

I go to Quick Trip, spend however much it is, and fill my styrofoam cup with Strawberry Hot Chocolate. And NO ladies, it is not gender specific. Everything with the word "strawberry" in it isn't always just for women.

I walk around town, work, the local cathouse, just wherever like I am one of you guys now. Stand outside of Wal Mart with my cup of steaming brown liquid, pat my stomach, and exclaim to everyone just how much I love my Columbian Almond Lattee.

A sheep among wolves I am.

Later.

P.S. Oh yeah, Jen? The dog stayed at my ex-wife's house....

True Irony....

2005-12-20T10:41:00.000-05:00

How ironic is it to just have completed 12 hours of pulling and shoving boxcars to build a train that, on your way out of the railyard.....you get blocked by one. The only 2 entrances/exits into and out of work have, you guessed it, a crossing on them. Idiots I tell you, freakin' idiots.

Tips for you ladies....

Sundresses:
Self explanatory.

Driving:
Just ~~don't do it~~ be extra careful please.

Cooking:
Not sayin' a word. Told you I was smart.

Trish left for Texas today. I'm grumpy and I'm ill and I'll starve before the 28th. If you'd like to bring an unopened XBox game, a covered dish, and 10 bucks I'll let you all watch 2 minutes of my Matrix collection.

I'm bout to hit the sack so you folks be careful and stuff.

Later.

Thanks Folks....

2005-12-18T23:02:00.000-05:00

It's been great. The outlet for just fun and creative writing alone has been worth it.

Personal matters takes precedence, always.

You guys have a Merry Christmas (being politically correct can kiss my ass) and a Happy New Year.

Stay safe and all the other stuff.

Bye.

Good News....

2005-12-17T11:05:00.000-05:00

For those of you that are curious, Mom is coming home today. 2 days after brain surgery and she's practically running laps around the west hospital wing. Modern medicine never ceases to amaze me.

Last night, while checking out at Wal Mart, I told my son to "Grab a Sprite". I have the kids this weekend and my daughter is sick, just my luck. Well anyway, I started scannin' all the crap I was buying at one of those "Self Check-Out" lanes, finished scannin' everything and my son is still nowhere to be found.

Keep in mind, the Coke machine was just 2 check out lanes over from where I was.

People are behind me now so I had to pay for what I scanned. So, now I'm off to look for my son. I find him.....

Standing behind some old lady staring off into space.

"Jay! What are you doing?? "

"I grabbed a spot like you asked me to"

Sprite dammit, Sprite. At least he did what he heard.

Busy day today folks, very busy day. Be safe and all that other stuff.

Later.

A Male's Perspective....

2005-12-16T08:31:00.000-05:00

about healthy relationships.

I know, I know...you're saying "Uh Oh, Mike's about to step in it", right?

I probably am but maybe you, my 3 million readers, need the enlightenment?

Here's my perspective on certain hot topics when it comes to relationships. (Keyword being "my")

Household Chores:
This should be shared equally. That's my opinion. Matter of fact, I'll give you a quick example. Last night Trish cleaned the tub, toilet, and the kitchen sink while I helped and cleaned the bathroom mirror.

Shopping:
This should be shared equally. That's my opinion as well. Did I hear you say you wanted another example? Sure! I remind Trish what we need for the household while she stops by Wal Mart on her way in from work after a 9 hour day to pick said items up. See how the cooperation between genders works so far?

Christmas Gift Wrapping:
This should be shared by no one. The female can pick up gift bags at the Dollar Tree while she is picking up the household items. Of course, the male needs to do his equal part in the "Shopping" by reminding her about the gift bags.

Who Gets The Bed??
After a big argument. That's a toss up. It's like playing "King of the Hill". My theory on this is whoever gets the angriest gets the bed. Period. For example, after the 4th shoe across the bridge of my nose, I'm heading for the couch. Obviously she's angrier than I am. She wins.

Movie Watching:
3 action/blood/horror movies to her 1 sappy love chick flick. Everyone's happy.

These are just a few things that, in my humble opinion, that I've found makes a relationship a healthy one.

So,while I sit here and watch 2 women pull each other's hair out and yank each other's shirts off on the "Springer Show", I smile. Knowing one day, someone will give them a copy of this and they too, shall find solice in knowing they're capable of having a healthy relationship with a man they'll never have to resort to fighting over.

I am a happy man today. Bless you all.

Later.

The Update....

2005-12-15T19:46:00.000-05:00

Well, she made it through the surgery with flying colors. The last time Trish and I saw her, which was 2 hours after the tumor was removed, she was sucking on a "Cepastat" cough drop thingy and asking for crushed ice.

Thanks all for your good thoughts, it's appreciated.

Goodnight.

I Got'em....

2005-12-15T05:21:00.000-05:00

I kept your good thoughts and stuff and now have them packed away in the bookbag I'm carrying to the hospital, as well as the Dean Koontz book, the handheld Yahtzee game, and December's issue of "Fabulous TaTas".

Yeah, I know....it's 5:24 A.M. Hopefully they won't have to postpone the surgery today. Wish us luck in hopes that ordeal doesn't happen again.

Regarding yesterday's post, I appreciate your comments and advice. Seriously. Not 5 minutes ago, while standing at the bathroom mirror "fixing her face", Trish turns around and asks....

"Do you think I'm self centered?"

I'll keep you guys posted about Mom.

Be safe and stuff.

Later.

Ex-Wives and a Bucket of Crap....

2005-12-14T11:52:00.000-05:00

This coming up weekend is my weekend with the kids. So, out of the blue I get an email from my ex wife.

"plan on getting them from my house around 4 on friday. Jay has a dog now. the dog will need to come with jay on friday, because i will not be at home this weekend and it is his responsibility"

Uh, excuse me?

No. Don't get me wrong, I love dogs, especially in good gravy, but I will not be bringing the dog to this apartment.

Trish is allergic to dogs
It's not his responsibility while he is with me, seeing as how it was your choice to let him get the dog.
Shouldn't you have like asked me or something first??
Are you freakin' crazy??

Now you can bet my son thinks he is going to be able to bring his pup here for the weekend. Hate it for'em. The answer is no. He'll be depressed but he can thank her for that.

Since I'm no expert in the field of ex-wive's patterns of thought-processing, seeing as how I've only had one (ex-wife, not thought processes thank you very much) it must be in some unwritten code to be self centered and overbearing because I sure as hell don't see it in the divorce papers.

As for the part of "ex wive's" being self centered and overbearing, I am in no way meaning Trish has those qualities ( I'm not getting in trouble over this bullshit tonight either ). Thought I'd clarify that before she got home from work.

Oh what a smart man I am. I think.

Later.

Mike "Gots" Christmas Spirit....

2005-12-13T08:05:00.000-05:00

Yeah, right.

I'm busting my tail to get into the "Christmas Spirit". It ain't working so far but yet, I keep trying anyway. Cause I'm like that.

From requests of "Amazing Amanda" dolls, IPod Shuffles, and stocking stuffers I walk in a daze.

My Visa card and the cash from the title loan on my car in hand, I'm setting forth to make everyone in the world happy. Now I see why everyone is beating each other up in check-out lines. Stress. Maybe I should go strapped as well?

"Step away from the Amazing Amanda doll you old hag, she's mine"

So, in my dedication to get into the spirit, I present this....

See? I'm trying. Will you join me?

Traveling out of town today. You folks be safe and stuff.

Later.

Woe Be To Me....

2005-12-12T10:17:00.000-05:00

3:30 A.M. and I step off the locomotive. 28 degrees outside.

My conductor heads toward the washroom to put us off duty while I head for my car to crank it up and get it nice and toasty. 3 minutes later and Iim sitting beside him in the washroom. We talk about our 12 hour night, all the work that we didn't do, and about the appearance traits he has with the prehistoric man. Protruding forehead and all.

Seriously, you'd have to shine a penlight into his eyes to tell what color his pupils are. I seen him, not once or twice, but all night long rest his hands on his knees without bending over. I didn't tell him this, it was just a simple observation.

Off duty at 3:40 and I brave the frostbite and make my way back to my car. Open the door.....

Smoke billows out of the inside like there was a smokestack in it or something. With the smell of antifreeze, I concluded that my heater core is now out of order.

I drove home, northern style.

Cold weather can kiss my ass.

Later.

Thanks Guys....

2005-12-11T08:42:00.000-05:00

I really do appreciate the good thoughts from all of you for my Mom. We accomplished nothing Thursday, except a great meal at "Maggio's", because the surgery was postponed until next Thursday (Dec. 15th)...so I'm giving you all back your "good thoughts" in hopes you'll return them by next Thursday. :) Trish has the complete story on what happened to postpone it.

I'll add more later today.....maybe.

6 A.M....

2005-12-08T06:13:00.000-05:00

Yeah, it's 6 something in the morning. Trish has taken the day off to go to the hospital with me.

Mom is having surgery today to remove the brain tumor, for the second time.

I'll keep you guys posted.

In the meantime, a little something to pass the time away. Yeah, I know it's a repeat, as Trish just got through reminding me. I got nothin' today.

Later.

Learned Something New....

2005-12-07T14:13:00.000-05:00

Yeah I did. What did I learn you ask?

Google is updated by a female.

This morning, just playing around, I typed in "mindless dribble" on the Google homepage and clicked on the "I'm feeling lucky" button and low and behold, my blog pops up. I'm like yeah baaaaby. So, what do I do?

Write a post about it. Brag and boast. Let my ego inflate to proportions that almost became unmanageable. Typed it all out, published it, then a few minutes later went and tried Google again. A different website popped up. Nooooooo.

I had no choice but to delete the post. I'm a big enough idiot without Google's help.

Who better to crush a man's ego? Who better to ruin a man's good mood? My first thought was my ex-wife but she's been busy "feeding" lately.

So, I concluded it couldn't have been her. Just a female in general I think. Not Trisha mind you (I'm not getting in trouble over this bullshit tonight), it could never be her.

So with a bruised and battered ego, I have learned my lesson about braggin' and boastin'. Google females, please forgive me.

Later.

The South Will Rise Again....

2005-12-06T10:14:00.000-05:00

I'm tired and I'm grumpy, again.

A 16 hour workday combined with temperatures dipping into the low 20's will do that to any pure bred southern man. Ya'll northerners thrive in the 20's. That ain't normal. Might be why the civil war was won by Yanks. Normalcy and war don't go hand in hand. Look at Saddam for an example. Hell, look at Bush for one. Yankees, dictators, and presidents. Show me a "normal" one and I'll post a picture of me cleaning the bathroom, naked.

I've seen pictures of people up north walking around in bedroom slippers when it's cold outside. I watch The Weather Channel my friend. Tell me bedroom slippers in the cold is normal.

It gets 20 degrees here and the only time we (southerners) step outside is to go to work. Period. Work and maybe food. Ok, and sex too, but that's it. Us southerners have to survive too.

Ya'll be good and stuff.

Later.

My Night of "Suckspeare"....

2005-12-04T10:15:00.000-05:00

My review for the Shakespeare tavern play thingy:

Sucked.

Although, it was a very generous outing, all paid for by dear old Dad...it pretty much sucked. I couldn't hear over half of what was being said. People would laugh at certain parts and I'm looking at Trish to try and get her to repeat what in the hell was said. The only bonus to the evening was the shot of "Liquid Cocaine" I took before going in. Powerful stuff.

To make matters worse, I had to sit through the play for 3.5 hours! AND to top it off, I missed the Ga. BullDAWGS win the SEC Championship.

I sound like a spoiled little child don't I?

Traveling today so ya'll be careful and stuff.

Later.

P.S. Here's Trisha's take on it.

A Very Long Night Possibly....

2005-12-03T13:32:00.000-05:00

I am going to act "cultured" tonight. I will dine with Atlanta's elite crowd of theatrical enthusiasts. I will "hobknob" with the city's creative thinkers. I will witness a group of actors and actresses perform a play written by the famous William Shakespeare as I "nibble" on hors de voires, Grilled Salmon, and a wide array of appealing desserts.

I'm going under protest.

I'm more inclined to lay around here in my underwear, eat nachos, and watch me some college football. Ooooo yeah, that's more like it.

Tonight, my Dad is taking Trish and I to some place in Atlanta where they perform a play while you eat. A "Shakespearian" play. I never understood the guy, but what I will understand is the food. There are at least some highlights to tonight.

I even have to get "dressed up". Yuck.

At 11:59 p.m. I'm "available" to answer my phone for work. So, you can well imagine how tired I'll be. I'm going to have a very long day and night......very long indeed.

About as long as that guy's night was.

Ya'll pray for me and stuff.

Later.

A Sincere Apology....

2005-12-02T15:23:00.000-05:00

Yes folks, I am apologizing. To all my 3 million readers. You already know by now that I "toe" the line between offensive and "not-so" offensive. It's just so hard to balance the "scales" for all 3 million of you. Though I try and I try.....

So, I'm sorry I didn't do yesterday's post sooner. Take that apology cause that's all you gettin'.

I was going to do a sermon on laziness but I was using my own name so much it was like playing a broken record. I paid good money for this blog so I won't use it to tarnish my reputation. No matter how much you beg or plead....unless you got a french maid outfit hidden somewhere. Not for me to wear, mind you.

I vacuumed (even put that smell nice powder on the carpet), unloaded and loaded the dishwasher, made the bed, did 2 loads of laundry, and took out the trash. If I don't get "lucky" tonight, I'll never wear that bright pink with white lace apron again. I swear to that.

You folks have a fun Friday night and all that other stuff.

Later.

I Must Have....

2005-11-30T09:22:00.000-05:00

I must've offended some of you, because not one person offered to fix me some vittles. Had it not been for Trisha's salisbury steaks I wouldn't have eaten at all.

So, that means today's sermon is about why it's rude to be ungrateful.

Nevermind, even "men of the cloth" only give so many sermons a week, besides...I worked 10 hours last night. I'm tired and grumpy. I'm in need of a shave and I smell like my sister's leftover brocoli casserole. Probably look like it too.

Speaking of food, Thanksgiving dinner was great. I ate 6 pounds of turkey, 3/4ths of the pecan pie, and I'm not sure, but I think I ate a whole can of jellied cranberry sauce. Some mashed taters with homemade gravy. Fruit salad, sweet potatoes, and some dressin'.

It didn't help my male tee-aats any but what the hell, Thanksgiving only comes once a year.

"If you want my body and you think I'm sexy come on sugar let me know If you really need me just reach out and touch me come on honey tell me so" - Rod Stewart

Well, time for me to go dig around Trisha's undergarment drawer while she's not here, you know...for moral "support".

You folks be nice to each other and all that other stuff.

Later.

Sinners and Hypocrites....

2005-11-29T17:43:00.000-05:00

Hell, don't look at me. I might be twisted but I'm not odd. All of us have a curiousity of the morbid, all of us. Don't lie. Lying is a sin anyway. Sinner.

Call me Reverend because just for today, I am going to preach to all of you about morbid curiousity and lying. Not that they go together, well...they could in some cases, but they aren't connected in today's sermon. Now, with my tie loosened and my suit jacket hanging on the back of the pew, I'm ready to begin.

Example 1.

This picture here.

Ok, if your first thought was "Damn, that is nasty!" you have satisfied your morbid curiousity. If your first thought was "I feel so sorry for him" then you're lying. See the difference? And ya'll say I'm twisted, which isn't lying, it's just being hypocritical. Sinners and hypocrites. We're learning a lot so far, don't you think?

I'm not saying I don't feel sorry for him, I'm just saying my first thought was..."Damn".

The reason I felt the need to preach to you folks was just to let you see first hand how twisted all of you are. Just to let you all know that I'm not much more twisted than all of you are (lying) and that I do want to set a good example in the blogging community by posting something positive. (another lie)

A reflection, mind you, to let you all see just how morbid you all really are.

Morbid sinners and hypocrites.

I feel as if I have served my purpose here today. Now, if one of you twisted souls would please pass around the collections plate and find a volunteer who will cook me my Sunday dinner here on this fine Monday evening, I'll be much obliged. Even Jesus ate with the sinners. See? I'm far from a hypocrite.

Run along and spread the word.

Later.

See, I Knew It....

2005-11-28T20:33:00.000-05:00

Yep, it happened. I knew ya'll would get her into this blogging B.S. and now I'm fighting for computer time. Thanks guys, I appreciate that....not.

But enough about our "wrastlin' matches" and my screamin' fits, surely you all aren't interested in learning I cry like a baby when I don't get my way so I'll guide the topic away to something else.

Like morons.... (no, not me)

It took me 45 minutes this morning to travel 8 miles. Why? Because it seems some moron felt like turning his/her vehicle onto it's top in middle of the freakin' interstate. How do you do that?? No other cars involved in the accident, just one lone upside down vehicle. How?? If I knew who the hell it was, I'd sue his/her ass for their ignorance and my lost wages for being late to work. Freakin' idiot.

Maybe Sandra Bullock will "visit" with me again tonight about 3 a.m. I never got the chance to thank her that one night 2 weeks ago. I didn't give a damn about lost wages that morning.

You folks be safe and all that other stuff.

Later.

Please Lord, Not Yet....

2005-11-27T08:45:00.000-05:00

Well, the DAWGS beat Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets yesterday. My weekend is already complete and it isn't even over yet. PLUS with the win last weekend, they are the SEC Eastern Champions. Give it up for'em.....

A couple months back....

"Know what this is?" she said as she held up a piece of paper that had been folded over itself what looked to be about 20 times.

"I don't know babe, what is it?"

"A Love Letter"

Yeah, that stopped me midstride. I looked down into the grinning face of my 6 year old daughter, snatched the letter out of her hand, and hesitantly opened it.

I saw no lopsided hearts drawn, no "I Love You's", and no drawings of stick people holding hands. What I did see was "Brandon" had wrote his own name like 50 times on the single piece of paper and given it to my daughter.

Smiling, I handed her back her "Love Letter" and thought to myself that if every "love letter" she ever recieves in her lifetime are just like that one, I'll be a very happy Dad.

After putting her away in the car, I made a mental note to remind myself to send my son after this "Brandon" fellow because as sweet as that "love letter" was.....I ain't havin' none of it.

Not on my watch by God. You got to go through me to get to her and it ain't happenin' until she recieves her college degree, if then.

Let this be a reminder for all you young punks out there. Stay Away. She has an older brother who I will use if I'm forced to. Period.

I need to run. Going back out of town today.

Later.

Well, She's Done It....

2005-11-25T17:30:00.000-05:00

Now... she has her own. All hers. By. Herself.

I'll have to start fighting for computer time now? Maybe not.

Introducing Trisha's new Blog

I can't write today. My belly is still in the way of everything.

Stop by and tell her "Hi".

Later.

Vegetarians Beware....

2005-11-24T09:40:00.000-05:00

Yes, I know. It's Thanksgiving morning. Trish is washing my daughters hair followed by an hour in the kitchen amidst showers of flour and pie crusts (the making of a peach cobbler) and my son is getting his ass beat in some XBox basketball game.

As for me, since Keb has squirmed her way back into my good graces and Shellie has forgiven me for deleting Trisha's first post I want to take this opportunity to share my excitement with you all....

I love freakin' Thanksgiving!

If you're a vegetarian, my condolences. I'm going to eat some turkey, pigs, maybe some cow. I'm going to drool all in my gravy while eyeing the dressing. I'm going to "finger" the "jellied cranberry sauce" (thanks Ethel ) and maybe, just maybe....slide my fork over the top of the pecan pie, feeling it's curves and dips, becoming one with the marvelous piece of heaven before I raise it to my watering mouth. 2 and a half hours away seems like an eternity today for some reason.

I just want to run to the top landing of my apartment complex, in my Spongebob boxers nonetheless, and scream at the top of my lungs.....

"VEGETARIAN SUCKAAAAAS, TODAY IS MY DAY!!!

Tomorrow I'll be my usual self. Sympathetic to your cause. Never in agreement but sympathetic nonetheless.

Traveling for work this evening, so you folks be good...and safe.

Later.

P.S. A little Thanksgiving funny for you. Click HERE

Hhmmm.....

2005-11-23T14:30:00.000-05:00

Time for a password change it seems. Or I need to do away with the "auto fill-in" thingy.

I'll leave the previous post up, only because she bragged on my chili and admitted it is the best. So what if I waste Dr. Pepper? It ain't like the needy and starving children can get a decent meal out of a soft drink for crying outloud. As for them being left in the freezer, it's for experimental purposes. Yeah, I'm all scientific and stuff.

Hope ya'll enjoyed that because that automatically forfeited the rest of the list. I'm free and clear. 65 things is enough any damn way. And I don't wanna "hear" no crying either. Fair is fair.

Well, hope you guys and gals have a great Thanksgiving holiday. For those of you cooking, remember one thing.....I don't like the cranberry sauce with the actual berries in it. That was #66 by the way.

What's the smooth kind of cranberry sauce?? Surely some of you know. Well, whatever it is, just keep in mind, I like it.

Everyone give thanks...and be safe, especially the ones traveling.

Later.

I'm gonna be in BIG BIG TROUBLE

2005-11-22T20:55:00.000-05:00

Yep, I'm gonna be in big big trouble when Michael sees this. Oh, "Hi" by the way, this is Trish (not Mike, the original author of Mindless Dribble). I'm just filling in for him for tonight while he's in Chattanooga. :) For those of you that have been loyal to Mike's blog, you've heard about me. Well, by popular demand I've decided to "hack" into the "Mindless Dribble" blog and add a few of my own "things about Mike". I know that you all want to get to know him better AND I'm going to tell you some things you might not know.
(and Shellie - I know you saw some of these the other day before Michael so rudely deleted my comments - so sorry for the repeats)
HA HAA HAAAA.....he won't see this before some of you will, but I expect this will be deleted as soon as he finds it so hopefully you'll get a chance to read it beforehand.

Let's see........where did he leave off??? Oh yeah.......

46. He has a bad habit of leaving Dr. Pepper cans (un-opened mind you) in the freezer. And what happens when you leave them in there too long?? Yep - KABOOM - everywhere.

47. He has figured out that I will rarely clean up the DP mess in the freezer now and has learned that a spatula works well in scraping up the frozen DP.

48. He will attempt to sing anything that comes on the radio....lagging a few words behind on almost every song.

49. His birthday is Dec. 30th.

50. He was in the army at one time.

51. Oh and back to the Dr. Pepper thing.....this totally drives me CRAZY. He leaves 3/4 full cans sitting all over the place. He takes like 4 drinks out of the can and wastes the rest of it.

52. Favorite food is chili - - and he thinks his is the best. I mean IT IS the best baby ;)

53. He's a bookworm. He puts himself to sleep just about every night reading. I use to hate reading but he has helped me find it to be a good thing.

54. He still makes faces in the mirror like a little kid. But it's cute.

55. Favorite ice cream - vanilla

56. He shaves his legs.

57. He still eats kid's cereal. You know like Lucky Charms, Fruity Pebbles, Captain Crunch and stuff. I didn't say it's a bad thing, I do too! In fact, havin me some Lucky Charms right now :) YUMMMM

58. Favorite movie(s) - - All the Matrix ones.....I can't stand them. blahhh

59. He could eat Taco Bell every day.

60. #56 was just to get a reaction from him.......he doesn't shave his legs.

61. He loves scary movies.

62. He screamed like a girl in the movie theater watching The Grudge.

63. He thinks Cingular Wireless is the best.

64. He likes all kinds of music - oldies, rock, country, bluegrass and stuff I've never heard.

65. He is so gonna kill me when he sees this........And I didn't really even put anything bad in this AT ALL. But yeah...I'm sure this is the beginning and end to my blogging days on the all famous "Mindless Dribble"

So as Mike would say at this point......
Later

Wanna See Some Pictures??

2005-11-21T07:55:00.000-05:00

*Caution....may be slow to load today. Plenty of pictures!*

Me, Trish, and my kids loaded up and enjoyed a Sunday at Stone Mountain here in Georgia.

This is Stone Mountain. I'm not going to explain the history nor will I tell you who that is carved onto the side. Reason being, is because I ain't got a clue. Hell if I know and I'm too lazy to look it up. I'm satisfied in knowing that it's a great piece of work, regardless of who it is or who it was done by.

It was built to look like a small village. Complete with restaraunts, gift shops, and saloon type shows. Very charming place.

My little princess

Me and the kiddos taking a breather

Trish and my daughter getting ready for the 1.4 mile hike up to the top of Stone Mountain. They look excited huh?

Made it to the top. Notice Trisha is missing. She "lagged" just a wee bit. Last I seen, some old dude was helping her up the trail. Kidding (sorta).

And I leave you with a close up of the carving done in the stone. It's no Mt. Rushmore but we had an absolute blast.

Hoping your weekend was enjoyed too.

Later.

I'll Finish, Give Me Time....

2005-11-19T09:28:00.000-05:00

Trish is out with my daughter getting their nails done and my son has taken over MY XBox so I'm left to my own devices for a short period.

There's not enough time to sit and "read" my skin magazines, and even if I do so, I don't want my son to find them. He'd just steal them and take them home to his mothers house for future perusal. Then she'd find them, call me, and I'd have to lie about where in the hell he got them and beg him not to tell her. Too much trouble. I'll pass.

For those of you who are wanting Trish to finish my list for me...the answer is a big fat NO. That's N-O. No no no no no no. Period. Now where was I?

yeah...37.

37. At this rate, I'll finish by June of next year. So be it, I'm lazy like that.

38. I am secretly attracted to "Judge Judy". Well, it was secretly. It might just be the meanness, you know...well, actually I don't even know but the woman makes me laugh.

39. I've eaten pizza 3 days in a row now. Still ain't tired of it.

40. I get along with damn near everybody except my ex mother in law. You're not supposed to get along with her. It's written somewhere. I think I even seen it posted in a forum somewhere. A nudey site nonetheless. "Iwanttopunchmyexmotherinlawandhideherweave.com" Something like that. "Google" it for me Keb.

41. I used to construct playgrounds for a living. That's where my affection for kids came from. That's where my tolerance ended for unresponsive parents came from as well. It's hard to work with power tools and such with 20 six year olds screaming and running around and jumping on unsupported beams and shit.

42. I constantly turn the T.V. I mean constantly. Like c-o-n-s-t-a-n-t-l-y

43. I constantly turn the radio in the car. I mean constantly. Like c-o-n-s-t-a-n-t-l-y

44. I find myself doing it, or Trisha brings it to my attention....but I'm too addicted to stop it. I admit it. I'm weak. I want to see what's on every single channel or station before I decide on one. That's another unwritten law. "When in doubt, take the safest course of action". That's my motto.

45. I'm through for today.

Later.

The Early Bird....

2005-11-18T08:38:00.000-05:00

What the hell is wrong with me? 4:21 a.m this morning and I was wide awake. Couldn't go back to sleep to save my life. Instead, I took and filled Trisha's car up with gas and grabbed her some lunch money from the bank, all before she even woke up for work. I better not make a habit of this or she'll expect it all the time huh?

Scary huh?

And the list goes on....

26. I'm anal about spelling. Could be all the years I lived under Mom's roof where I was forced to use "correct" english. That, or having been married to a teacher for 13 years.

27. I have permission to take one (1) weekend a month off to spend time with my kids. For this month, it happens to start today!!!! :) The rest of the days, I just have to find them when I can.

28. In my opinion, college football season is absolutely the greatest time of the year, hands down.

29. My Dad just bought one of them traveling home thingies....said I could borrow it whenever.

30. Trish asked me to let her do this list for me....I don't think so. You all would really know more about me that I'd want you to.

31. I've done everything sexually there is to do except be intimate with a man, but I'm only 34 years old.

32. My sister, who is 1 year and 3 days older than I am, used to get me into fights all the time. Might be why I won the Boxing Championship yesterday?

33. I taught my daughter to say "Bullshit" when she was 1 year old. Quite an accomplishment. Afterwards, I spent forever trying to teach her not to say it anymore.

34. I'm not as stupid as I look, promise.

35. #31 will never ever happen!!

You folks have a good weekend. I'm sure I will.

Later.

Added to edit:

36. Ok, Mad Ethel called my bluff...I haven't done everything sexually there is to do.....yet. Nice to have some goals, thanks for the ideas Ethel!

The Road To Glory....

2005-11-17T12:46:00.000-05:00

I watch him as he walks down the center aisle of the Staples Arena, fireworks going off around him, two cages of doves released, and his trainers basking in his glory as they approach the ring.

2 weeks I've waited for this moment. My palms sweaty. Rocking back and forth on my heels. You want to talk about excitement? Friends, this is major excitement right here. In the middle of broad daylight, this should be against the law it's so damn exciting.

I forget his name, although it doesn't matter. I plan to make his name mud anyway after I'm done.

10 minutes of pure mouth twisting, finger popping action and I am now crowned EA's "Friday Night Fights 2004" Boxing Champion!!

Damn I'm good.

A "Congrats" is in order I should think....

For those of you who feel "cheated" that I didn't do the whole 100 things on the "100 Things About Me", do not fear. Soon, you'll get to know me better than you probably really want to anyhow. If that doesn't scare you, I don't know what will. I will leave you with 5 more things about me....

21. My nickname in high school was "Bird"

22. I have never, ever been arrested for Public Indecency

23. I love cats, it's just that my right foot has something against them.

24. I have an 11 year old son that's smarter than I am...go figure.

25. I have a 6 year old daughter who has me wrapped around whichever finger she decides to put me.

Hope you guys have a good Thursday, by the way...that picture up there has me with my shirt off, so it's "HNT"? :)

Later.

Things You Want to Know, Admit It....

2005-11-16T08:48:00.000-05:00

I've visited countless other blogs and found those "100 Things About Me" posts and got to thinking "You know Mike, you've never done that". Surely someone out there is interested in all of your good qualities.

The only downside to doing this, in my case, is there are like 25,000 things. 25,000 things would take a looooong time to type out and I'm not inclined to do that this morning. Hell, Blogger.com would have to run a new server just to post my list. They might make me pay and stuff. I'm not gonna take advantage of their generosity. See? There's another thing to add to my list. My generosity makes 25,001.

Somehow, I'll shorten it. (by the way, have ya'll noticed how personal I've been getting lately? Scary huh?)

1. I have blue eyes

2. My eyesight is shit so the blue must be for decoration.

3. I'm a die-hard Georgia Bulldog fan

4. I'm a die-hard Georgia Tech Yellow Jacket hater

5. I have an unhealthy obsession about my "Baby" (car)

6. I'm not turned on by porn, unless it involves sleazy pictures of Brittany Spears

7. I'm a little girl when it comes to spiders

8. I don't "ogle" women (when certain people are watching)

9. I don't consider myself a pig either, most days

10. Family is everything

11. I've had a voicemail message in my phone since July. It's my daughter saying "Hey Daddy, I love You. Bye". I keep saving it.

12. I have 2 cell phones. I'm like a communications God.

13. I'll do most anything for a friend

14. My hearing is shit, but I usually nod my head in a conversation and the other person never knows. Unless, like sometimes, they're waiting on an answer for a question they've asked.

15. I'm learning how to balance a checkbook pretty good.

16. I'm an unlicensed gynocologist

17. I have a mild temperment (unless I don't get my way)

18. I'm 34 (almost 35) and I still get laid on a regular basis (even if I have to pump her up myself)

19. My Mom is the person I look up to the most.

20. I eat, eat, eat, and eat and never gain a pound (which is a curse at times)

There, I'm tired of working. I hope this gave you some insight about the "real" me. If you have any more questions, feel free to ask them in your comments and I might just surprise you and answer'em. Until then.....

Later.

And On A VERY Personal Note....

2005-11-15T18:35:00.000-05:00

You know, I'm not ashamed to admit this. I won't deny it if I'm charged with this fact over a bullhorn in a room filled with 1,000 people. It's not embarrassing. Nor is it something I'd hide my face in shame over.

I'm a Mama's Boy.

She's taught me about what sacrifices really mean, even at times when I couldn't see her reasoning. For that, I feel as if it's made me a better person and Dad.

She was there snapping pictures at my high school graduation with a smile on her face that I'm sure NASA's satellites were tracking. She was there when I went off on a cruise, got drunk, and lost my wallet.....sending me money through Western Union so I could pay my tabs and bills just to get back home.

She was there at the birth of all of her grandchildren. Two of them being mine. If I'm not mistaken, during the birth of my daughter, Mom was away on a trip, needless to say....cut short and quickened her pace to attend the birth.

She was there when I got bit by that damn spider, bitten by all those dogs, and bitten by my Granny's cat. She was there when I got nailed in the groin on the only game I chose not to wear my cup because I wasn't going to play catcher resulting in a bloodclot, ouch.

She was the one who foraged through my closet to find the rotten potatoes and the 2 month old Easter Eggs.

And I can still remember seeing her face, as she dropped her arms around me as I turned and walked away, heading for life in the Army.

As you can see, she's "braved" many things, as evidence by just being my Mother. Lots of you already know about the bouts she has waged with cancer from reading some of my earlier posts, like HERE. Tonight, we've found out that an earlier treatment wasn't as successful as we'd have hoped. But it's OK. Surgery is now slated for Jan. 5th and I'll be there Mom, I promise you that.

Just like the other times Mom, we'll all "brave" them together. I do love you, very much.

Times Have Changed....

2005-11-15T12:15:00.000-05:00

Yeah, I'm still here. I've been home maybe 20 hours in the last 4 days. That in itself should explain my lack of posting anything. But alas, I'm off for one (1) day.

I'm still embarrassed a bit for my "walk into recognition" in my last post. You'll have to forgive my weaker moments. From now on I'll distance myself from this keyboard when I'm in such a mood as that. With that being said, let's quickly change the subject to something less uncomfortable....

Such as this headlline story:

"GOLDEN, Colorado (AP) -- A woman who authorities said had sex with high school boys during alcohol- and drug-fueled parties has been sentenced to 30 years in prison, officials said."

What in the hell??

"Silvia Johnson, 41, described herself to investigators as a "cool mom" who "was never popular with classmates in high school" and who was beginning to feel like one of the group."

Part of the group? I never seen groups like this in high school. Geeeez, look how times have changed. This is plain out ridiculous.

I consider myself a "cool" Dad but damn, if I even see my sweet young daughter ogling a male, I'll make her sit on a hardback chair in the middle of an empty room and preach to her all the wicked ways of the world and how I expect her not to be a party to such evil. Doubt it'll work but it's worth a try.

As for my son, I'll pat him on the back and tell'em "Like Father like Son" ;)

Later.

Just What I Need....

2005-11-10T17:50:00.000-05:00

For those of you who find solice in knowing you're not the insane one you thought you were from reading my blog, you are well aware that I always try to never get political and I try to never reveal too much of my personal life......

On that note, I'll take the plunge. Head first. Whether you're going "oh nooo" or if you're actually interested, matters none. I'm gonna do it anyway. I'm loosening the chains that bind me. I'm going to strip off this cloak of invisibility I've made for myself and walk, naked, into the light of recognition. For it is my blog and I shall use it in any manner I see fit.

And the manner I see fit for it today is to allow you to glimpse, on a personal level, at my life. Yes, Mike's life. With this, you're going to be proud of me and disappointed in me.

Here goes my cloak....

Naked now...

For all the world to see....

Weird, but...

It sort of turns me on....

Now for my personal life....

Give me a few minutes.....

...............

Hope you enjoyed this personal revelation and I hope I didn't shatter the confidences we've started with each other in these times, our newly beginning friendships. I am grateful to you, the dear reader, who gave me this opportunity. Go forth and tell everyone what joyous relationships you can have with blogging friends. I have just now realized this. So, while I "don" my invisibility cloak once again, think about what I said. Until then....

Later.

The Exact Opposite....

2005-11-09T10:08:00.000-05:00

I had the pleasure of working with a conductor, that's quite frankly, too damn nice to be on the railroad. Let's see....he's 35, never been married, no kids, and just pretty much a pleasure to be around. One thing I find odd though....

Given his current situation, hence..no wife, kids, or girlfriends, you'd think he'd be full of good nasty jokes. 10 minutes into the train ride to Chattanooga I literally had to "ban" him from telling me anymore jokes. Especially after this one....

"What would you have if every car in the nation were to be painted pink?"

"A Pink Car-Nation"

Ok R...come on, I'm an old perverted guy with 2 children, give me something better than that.

Speaking of perversion, I wonder exactly at what age we pick that up?

Surely that's not me.

On a brighter note, I didn't have to go out of town last night AND I didn't spill any milk. So, for those of you (you know who you are) that suggested I use a sippy cup.....I say "blah" to you and thanks for giving Trish some material to use against me. You traitors you.

In order to rectify this, it will take many, many apologies....or just until my ego is back functioning at the high level it's used to. You know, us males are nothing without a little ego boosting. Until then....

Later.

It Can't Be November....

2005-11-08T10:58:00.000-05:00

It's almost 11 in the morning and it's 72 degrees outside. I love Georgia.

I'm washing sheets and pillow cases and my silky smiley face boxer shorts. Why?

Trish made some brownies with caramel and nuts...the whole works. Man, they're good. And what goes well with brownies? Yes, my dear friends...milk. Except the huge glass I poured only stayed in the glass for about 10 seconds. I didn't just knock it over, I like, propelled it 200 mph from a sitting position. Don't ask me how, I'm an idiot remember? Anyway, the milk came to rest on the walls, on top of my little dresser (soaking my smiley face boxer shorts), all over the bed sheets, and not to mention I had some on the back of my neck, ears, and forehead. Oh yeah, and the window sill. Yeah, just imagine it, every-freakin'-where. I'm not sure I like milk that damn much.

So, after the damage is cleaned up as much as can get cleaned up at midnight, what do I do? You guessed it. Pour me another HUGE glass. And no, I didn't spill it this time. I drank every last drop and had a peaceful night of sleep.

Traveling sometime today, you folks be safe. Later.